Phineas and Ferbook
by Punzie the Platypus
Summary: (EDITED REPOST.) The Phineas and Ferb characters are on Facebook! Irving is a super-fan and posts albums of Phineas and Ferb, Jenny makes many 11:11 status updates, Candace tries to bust her brothers from behind a screen, Vanessa tries to hide her crush on Ferb, and Doofenshmirtz comments indignantly!
1. Welcome to Ferbook

_**Soli Deo gloria**_

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb, or Facebook. Come on guys, it was only a matter of time before someone does Phineas and Ferb characters doing Facebook and I decided, "Hey, why don't I do it?" Everyone's about three years older so Phineas and Ferb are like 13 and 14.**

**UPDATE: I'm reformatting this so this story won't get kicked off the site. XD. Someone had gotten it DELETED because it was in chat form. So this is that story with those pieces of dialogue, but in a STORY format. Got it?**

Vanessa was one to mostly stay off Facebook. Facebook was for the normal teenage girls who changed their relationship statuses pretty much every day, shared pics of cute couples, and left vague statuses. She went on sparingly, and only read statuses and new information she thought interesting to herself.

She was at her dad's. Again. He was busy blowing something up with Perry, who she greeted when she came in. She was in her room, a headphone in her ear, her punk music playing in the background as she logged in and perused through the site.

**Phineas Flynn has joined Facebook.**

Phineas Flynn . . . that kid . . . he invented a lot. Oh, yeah, Ferb's brother. She wondered why a kid like him hadn't joined sooner. She shrugged and sent him a friend request.

_Phineas Flynn is friends with Ferb Fletcher, Candace Flynn, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, and two others._

That was fast.

Some little friend of his commented on this delicious piece of news.

**Phineas**, add me as your friend!—It was written by **Isabella** **Garcia-Shapiro**. Vanessa thought she had her on her friend list somewhere.

You mean BOYFRIEND! :)—**Adyson Sweetwater** said this. Vanessa didn't remember her. Maybe she had her on her list too . . . She slumped in her seat. She didn't know. But Ferb Fletcher liked her status, making his brother say—Huh?

Vanessa smirked to herself, and even evilly laughed as **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **answered with—Oy . . .

* * *

_Phineas Flynn is friends with Baljeet Tjinder, Buford van Stomm and 189 others._

Vanessa raised her eyebrows at this. That boy was fast. It had barely been fifteen minutes. And there was **Candace Flynn** saying—**PHINEAS**, WHY DO YOU HAVE MORE FRIENDS THAN ME! YOU ARE SO BUSTED!

She had tagged him. He'd get a notification. Vanessa knew that was inevitable. There was a quick reply within a few seconds from a **Stacy Hirano**—Are you seriously trying to bust **Phineas** because he has more friends than you?

Vanessa stifled a laugh, and did so, straightening with a frown. She didn't think that two teenage girls having a conversation on Facebook was funny.

**Wendy 'I'm Going To Beat Candace Flynn In Getting That Mr. Slushy Dawg Job' Li **said—Your sooooo weird!

Well, now, three girls having a conversation on Facebook was funny.

**Candace Flynn** said—Hey, at least I can spell, and how did I become friends with you!

Vanessa leaned back in her chair. She was rooting for Candace in all this.

* * *

**Jeremy Johnson** _is in a relationship with_ **Candace Flynn.**

Whoop-tip-tap-dancing-do for him. Vanessa hardly cared for relationship statuses. They reminded her all too well of her own.

**Candace** **Flynn** replied with—*Ten billion hearts*

Gag. Vanessa stuffed her other earbud into her ear. It'd help drown out the words before she decided to go vomit.

IT'S OFFICIAL!—**Stacy** **Hirano** said that. Yes. Because it's on Facebook, it's official.

This means war!—**Suzy** **Johnson**, her profile picture an adorable little blonde girl, said. Vanessa straightened. Things just got interesting.

**Suzy**?—This was replied by **Jeremy** **Johnson**, the man in this relationship. He had the same last name. A relative.

"Ohhhh," Vanessa said.

**Suzy** **Johnson** said—Bubbles!

Vanessa looked confused. What did that mean?

* * *

**Candace** **Flynn** said—**Jeremy** **Johnson** is home for the summer! YAY!

And where had he been, Vanessa couldn't help wondering. College, maybe.

_Jeremy Johnson, Joe Johnson and 5 others like this._

Applause for the happy couple.

* * *

**Phineas** **Flynn** said—**Ferb** **Fletcher** and **Isabella** **Garcia-Shapiro** and I are making the world's biggest snow globe today!

Well, the kid was up to something today. Vanessa ate a chip and wished she got out more. He was at least doing something, with Ferb, too.

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro likes this._ Phineas's not-girlfriend. Vanessa wondered how she remembered that and how she had gotten a front row seat to this soap opera.

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** said—What active imaginations!

Vanessa assumed that was their mother. She probably had her on her friend list as well. She remembered going to her house with her dad and mom, who was cooking school buddies with her.

**Candace** **Flynn** said immediately, within a few seconds—Mom, they posted it ON FACEBOOK!

Ah. The girl was relentlessly trying to bust her brothers. Vanessa knew the feeling of trying to bust someone . . .

And Candace's mother replied: **Linda** **Flynn-Fletcher**—**Candace**...

* * *

_Baljeet Tjinder likes Math, Calculators and 31 other pages._

"Who the heck is Baljeet Tjinder? And who names their kid Baljeet Tjinder?" Vanessa wondered to herself, slightly weirded out. The kid was a definite nerd. That much was obvious.

**Buford van Stomm**, some kid with a skull for a profile picture, said—Betcha their all math related.

Vanessa looked through the list. "Indeed," she muttered to herself.

**Baljeet** **Tjinder** said—**Buford**, that was the incorrect use of their! You were supposed to do 'they're'!

Oh _my_ gosh, a grammar Nazi.

**Buford** **van** **Stomm**—PHhht...like I care.

Vanessa vibrated her lips and fell back in her chair, feeling the same way.

* * *

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro has created the group Fireside Girls Troop 46231._

Vanessa discovered that Isabella was indeed her friend. She read that _Isabella Garcia-Shapiro has added Adyson Sweetwater and five others to this group_—and that—_Adyson Sweetwater likes this_, while Perry and her dad came running into her room to fight. She could barely hear them: she was also chewing gum now.

* * *

It was now late at night. Around eleven. Vanessa didn't know. She was wearing a black tank and short shorts and decided to check Facebook before she went to bed. She could hear her dad arguing with Norm over spilling tea as she leaned over her laptop, reading: **Jenny Brown—**11:11, make a wish. I wish for the all doves to be freed.

"A hippie, huh?" Vanessa said. Oi. At least now she knew the time.

**Candace** **Flynn** said—...

Vanessa could not agree more. Then some kid named **Django Brown** said—**Jenny**, that's ALL you wish for!

Probably; and then **Jenny** **Brown **replied—Not always. Last week I wished that all the dolphins won't die from trash people throw into the ocean.

* * *

_Charlene Doofenshmirtz has listed Vanessa Doofenshmirtz as her daughter, Roger Doofenshmirtz as her brother-in-law, and Heinz Doofenshmirtz as her ex-husband._

Vanessa groaned. "Mom," she moaned.

"Oh, what she do now?" Her dad said, peeking his head in as **Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz** said—You can actually list Dad as your ex-husband? Weird. . .

"Check Facebook," Vanessa said to answer him.

There was a loud gasp from her doorway, and then a new comment appeared on the news: **Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz** said—GREAT, **Charlene**, now the whole world knows!

"Just goes and advertises it, really," Dad said, muttering as he came in Vanessa's room.

**Charlene** **Doofenshmirtz** said—**Heinz**, everybody already knew.

"She has a point, Dad," Vanessa said, but her dad was too busy replying—Then why are you putting me down as your ex-husband?

Mom said—Is there a law that says I can't?

"Ohhhh, Dad. Stop now," Vanessa warned him quickly. Her dad grumbled under his breath but replied—No . . . O.o—and then went to scold Norm more.

* * *

**Ferb** **Fletcher** said—Off to the mall to get new summer shirts.

It was morning now, around eleven, and Vanessa was lying across her black bed, which had skulls at the posts, and looked through her phone. She was interested upon seeing Ferb's status and wondered if she should go to the mall today.

**Tiana** **Webber** liked his status and asked—What kind of shirts are you thinking of getting?

**Ferb** **Fletcher **replied after a few seconds—I got two purple and one with an Union Jack on it. Have you been to Britain in your travels, Aunt T?

Vanessa was supposing that was his aunt, and she was grateful to her for making the question known to him instead of herself doing so.

Aunt **Tiana** **Webber** replied with—Yes, yes I have. :)

* * *

Vanessa was chomping on a breakfast pastry her dad was complaining about as he sat on the side of her bed, and saw that **Ferb** **Fletcher** said—I have to say, the new Union Jack shirt I've gotten has been quite a hit. Evidence showed that _Winifred Fletcher, Reginald Fletcher and 5 others like this_. The **Winifred** **Fletcher** said—And how do you know all this, then?

Vanessa quickly checked out this Winifred Fletcher—specifically because her profile pic was an Union Jack. According to her information, she was very British and Ferb's grandmother.

**Ferb** **Fletcher** replied with—All the Fireside Girls were talking and giggling. He he he.

Vanessa scoffed. "A bunch of kiddies, with Ferb? Good grief."

It gave her annoyance she didn't want.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**, a Fireside Girl, she knew, said—We were not!

**Candace** **Flynn** replied—PHHT! You sure were!

Vanessa felt like Candace was a bit like her in a lot of ways.

_Phineas Flynn likes this._

Vanessa sighed. "Of course that kid does."

* * *

Vanessa had nothing better to do that day, so she continued going through her newsfeed absentmindedly, like a zombie. She saw a **Jeremy** **Johnson**—that boyfriend—had posted on **Candace** **Flynn**'s wall—For our date tonight, how about my Uncle Joe's Subs?

Vanessa wished she went on more dates. She wished even more when **Candace Flynn** replied with—Oh, **Jeremy**, that sounds wonderful! I can hardly wait!

**Linda** **Flynn-Fletcher** said—Just make sure that you get home by eleven.

Vanessa was glad that her mom didn't warn her like that. Candace seemed to think the same thing, saying—Mom! I'm eighteen!

Not yet you're not—**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** said.

**Candace Flynn** said defensively—My birthday's in three days!

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher **said—I know. :)

Vanessa felt secondhand embarrassment. Facebook mothers.

* * *

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher has created the event Candace's 18th Birthday Party._

Vanessa received an invitation.

**Candace** **Flynn** said excitedly—YEEP! My birthday!

Vanessa read the message, which described Candace, the address and time and place. "At least there'll be cake," Vanessa said.

**Phineas** **Flynn** said—Say, **Candace**, what do you want for your birthday?

Vanessa had forgotten about getting her a present. Dang it. She'd have to go shopping.

**Candace** **Flynn** said (very quickly)—A new car, a new computer, iMusic gift cards, and yeah...pretty much that. :P

**Linda** **Flynn-Fletcher**—**Candace**, you honestly don't think **Phineas** is going to get you a new car, right?

Well, Vanessa had seen what the kid could do. She wouldn't be surprised if he somehow made his older sister one . . .

**Phineas** **Flynn **said**—**I might be able to figure something out...

She assumed correctly.

_Ferb Fletcher likes this._

And now she had Ferb's word on this.

* * *

Vanessa was actually pressing her nose very hard against her laptop. She raised an eyebrow.

_Irving Grindbore has added 18 pictures to the album Phineas and Ferb!_

_Irving Grindbore likes this._

"Okay, it's not like that's totally weird or anything," Vanessa said. This kid, while she knew not of his existence except for his infinite love for Phineas and Ferb, she decided, was as crazy as her dad. At least, though, her dad wasn't some stalker.

**Candace Flynn** posted a comment, but nothing about calling out Irving for being extremely stalkerish, but—How come there's none of **Phineas** and **Ferb**'s inventions? What kind of a fan boy are you?—she was criticizing how some of his pictures weren't of her brothers inventions.

"SOMEONE has no social life," Vanessa said, sighing. She was wearing pajamas; it had been a long day. And now she had the weekend at her dad's. Whoo hoo.

**Albert** **Grindbore** quickly commented on his brother's album—I think he is far most obsessed with your brothers than their inventions.

Quickly **Irving** **Grindbore** replied—EXACTLY!

**Candace Flynn** commented—...

Vanessa liked her comment.

* * *

Because her mother was friends with Ferb's mother, Vanessa (logically) was friends with Ferb's father. She saw him post as she sat in the dark listening to deep, dark music and eating a bowl of candy bar ice cream: **Lawrence** **Fletcher**—**Candace**, we have all your presents wrapped, you can come upstairs now.

**Candace** **Flynn** answered—YEEP!

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher likes this._

* * *

At around eleven o'clock, **Candace** **Flynn** posted—When is Facebook going to add a dislike button?

_Ferb Fletcher, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and 14 others like this. _Obviously. Vanessa, for once, agreed with Candace's Facebook wisdom.

**Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz** typed—Yeah, I mean, I think I dislike a lot more stuff on here than like.

Then quickly after her came **Buford van** **Stomm**—So do i.

Less than ten seconds later: **Baljeet Tjinder**—A dislike button would make things less complicated.

Oh, these kids were getting fast. Vanessa took a bite of her melted ice cream and wondered how late these children stayed up into the dark night: **Isabella** **Garcia-Shapiro** said—Wait, did **Baljeet** just want something to be less complicated? Weird...

Oh, Baljeet Tjinder, the little nerd: Vanessa remembers him. He replied—That was a weak attempt at making a joke, **Isabella**.

**Isabella** **Garcia-Shapiro **responded quickly—I wasn't making a joke; I was stating a fact.

_Phineas Flynn, Mishti Patel and two others like this._

**Baljeet** **Tjinder** said—**Mishti**, really?

Vanessa could practically feel the sarcasm. She was well-versed in that language.

**Mishti** **Patel** replied with a meek—XD

Then everyone on Facebook went to bed because they realized that spending their late hours on a social media site really wasn't the best way to damage their eye sight.

* * *

But, at exactly midnight, because he was so quick and fast, **Phineas** **Flynn** posted on **Candace** **Flynn**'s wall: Happy Birthday, the best sis in the entire world!

_Candace Flynn likes this._

THEN Vanessa put down her laptop. And her phone. And her MP3 player. And hoped that her father would soon realize that getting her devices was not going to win her affectation. Just sayin'.

* * *

Vanessa could have timed it, if she wanted to. She woke up at seven that Saturday, sat up in bed and firstly addressed Facebook (a priority. A lot could have changed in the past few hours). First thing she saw was **Candace** **Flynn**—Wow, 51 notifications! *Checks notifications* They all say Happy Birthday.

**Ferb** **Fletcher** replied with wisdom—Well, **Candace**, it IS your birthday. Pancakes are ready and we're not going to Mt. Rushmore this year. :3

_Candace Flynn likes this. _Good. Vanessa smiled at Ferb's comment.

* * *

Later that afternoon, while Vanessa was applying dark lipstick and tugging on her leather jacket, she checked her phone and saw a post: **Stacy** **Hirano** said—Me and **Dr. Elizabeth Hirano** are heading to **Candace Flynn**'s birthday party!

**Candace** **Flynn** replied quickly—Can't wait!

Then Vanessa heard her father's nasally voice and him shaking his ring of keys. "Come on, Vanessa! But wait, I've got to put more air in my scooter's tires. Perry the Platypus bit them on his way out yesterday; how rude!"

Vanessa sighed and tapped her foot again the carpet. Hopefully they wouldn't be too late.

* * *

Well, it was after a very successful party when Vanessa returned back to her father's evil lair. She saw an update that made her laugh: **Ferb** **Fletcher**—**Phineas**, remind me never to let Perry have birthday cake. Cleaning up his platypus vomit was not exactly what I had in mind of 'cleaning up after the party.'

That had definitely been disgusting. Candace kept shrieking, standing on top of the table, and the smell had been horrible. So it had also been hilarious.

**Phineas Flynn** replied amiably—I'll make a note of that, bro!

Vanessa took off her makeup and said good night to her dad before returning to the conversation to see **Buford** **van** **Stomm** say—It was good cake though.

**Baljeet** **Tjinder** commented—You mean the piece of cake that fell on the floor that you ate?

**Buford** **van** **Stomm** responded with terrible grammar errors that were painful to read—U can't let gud cake go to waist!

Vanessa couldn't care less about reprimanding Buford van Stomm about his bad behaviors, but **Baljeet** **Tjinder** was quick to say—I am slapping myself from all your spelling errors.

* * *

Just before midnight, **Candace** **Flynn** posted—Thanks for all the birthday wishes! The party was a blast! Thanks for making it special!

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Betty Jo Flynn and 4 others like this._

Vanessa was glad she didn't say things like that. She viewed such things as, while sweet, sort of cheesy. She groaned as she laid in bed and texted Lacey for a good hour, ignoring Facebook the best she could.

* * *

**Candace** **Flynn** posted at past ten in the morning—I am officially an adult. :)

Well, yeah. Thank goodness she finally noticed it. That could have been a HUGE problem. Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Duh."

_Jeremy Johnson and Stacy Hirano like this._

**Stacy Hirano** said—Do you think the Mysterious Force will recognize you as one? He he he he.

Oh, Vanessa had heard many theories about the 'Mysterious Force' that Candace decided to blame for Phineas and Ferb's always-disappearing inventions. Personally, Vanessa doubted the legitimacy of it.

**Candace** **Flynn **replied with—(-_-)

* * *

**Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz**, fetching her purse, posted this before she left—Today Dad and I are actually going car shopping for my first car, at the age of nineteen! Is this it? Is this the day I actually get my own car?

Oh, it was really too good to be true!

**Johnny** **Black**, her . . . boyfriend, replied—Coolio! Gettin' a sweet ride, aye baby?

**Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz **felt terribly sarcastic—*Black hearts*

Then she stifled a smile behind her hand when she saw **Ferb Fletcher**—*Dislike*

Her dad came in her bedroom, ready to go shopping, but he wasn't saying anything. No. The two Doofenshmirtzs were standing two feet from each other bent over their phones: Vanessa saw **Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz**—USED car shopping. BIG difference. And what's with your boyfriend and the little green haired kid?

His daughter was quick: **Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz**:—They're COMMENTING, Dad.

So was **Ferb** **Fletcher**—Technically, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm fourteen.

Her father was angry: **Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz**—Maybe I should give you a little talking to for your comeuppance.

His fingers thumped against the little keyboard and he groaned. "This keyboard is so small!"

He saw next **Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz**—THIS is why I hide my posts from you, Dad. You scare people. How did you even see this post?

To her annoyance, he held up a small gun for her examination. **Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz**—With my new Find-Vanessa's-Facebook-Posts-Inator!

But then, to make Vanessa groan loudly, her MOM dropped in. **Charlene** **Doofenshmirtz**—SOMEONE has a little too much time on their hands. Good luck car shopping with your father, sweetie.

Vanessa was too busy burning with a dark blush of embarrassment to reply with a sweet comment, so—_Vanessa Doofenshmirtz likes this._

Then she added before shortly pocketing her phone and passing her father without a word—**Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz**: Thanks Mom.

* * *

That afternoon, it became apparent to all that someone had a game addiction when **Buford** **van** **Stomm** said—Can some1 send me a cow on Farmville? i need to complete a mission.

**Baljeet Tjinder**, as per usual, was quick to reply—Farmville? Really, **Buford**?

**Buford** **van** **Stomm** replied—Don;t diss Farmville nerd.

Vanessa sighed for humanity.

Then: **Stacy** **Hirano**—Here, **Buford**.

Well, at least someone had mercy on him.

**Candace** **Flynn** was quick to catch on—**STACY**! Have you been brainwashed? FARMVILLE?

Vanessa smirked. At least now Stacy knew she had a problem. The first step to recovery . . . **Stacy** **Hirano **replied—Care to be my Farmville neighbor, **Candace**?

**Jeremy** **Johnson** said, after a few seconds—I just got to level nine!

Less than an hour later, Vanessa saw this—_Candace Flynn is playing Farmville._

_Stacy Hirano likes this._

Once again, Vanessa sighed for humanity.

* * *

Later that evening, Vanessa, exhausted from a long afternoon of caressing cars and getting none, saw that _Linda Flynn-Fletcher has added 38 pictures to the album Candace's 18th birthday!_ and that _Tiana Webber, Winifred Fletcher and 18 others like this._

**Tiana** **Webber** said—She's all grown up!

Obviously this aunt Tiana (Ferb had mentioned her in passing to Vanessa) had had time to look through the pictures. Vanessa decided to do the same—when she wasn't tired, achy, and not ready to see unattractive pictures of herself that she'd have to untag herself in.

**Candace Flynn** replied wittily—Well, I can't grow down!

Oh, the pun-ness. Vanessa groaned.

Her mother, though, commented: **Charlene** **Doofenshmirtz**—You look lovely, **Candace**.

Then there was a **Vivian** **Garcia-Shapiro** saying surprisingly—I agree, but **Candace**, you look much too skinny! What are you doing, starving yourself?

And Vanessa saw the only person whose opinion on Facebook actually interested her post a comment: **Ferb** **Fletcher**—I don't think eating a stack of waffles four waffles high this morning counts as starving, Mrs. **Vivian** **Garcia-Shapiro**.

Vanessa actually smiled.

* * *

She laughed when she read **Ferb** **Fletcher**'s latest post—I don't think I should be surprised to find maple syrup in my slippers this morning and **Candace** **Flynn**'s comment—Just a little revenge, little bro. :)

* * *

**MUCH EDITING IS TIRING. But please review, if you feel so inclined! Thanks for reading! God bless!**


	2. The Dislike Button

_**Soli Deo gloria**_

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb or any of the mentioned movies or stuff in this fic. All these reviews make me so happy! I'm taking into account all your suggestions and I hope you like what I put out!**

Candace growled; cross-legged on her pink bedspread, laptop balanced on her legs, she searched through her Facebook newsfeed. Thus far that Saturday morning, nothing of interest. It would appear as if Phineas and Ferb hadn't gotten onto the Internet yet that early, bird-chirpy Saturday morning. She did, however, find one of **Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz**'s status updates from yesterday—Picked out my new car after DAYS of car shopping. Snazzy.

_Charlene Doofenshmirtz, Johnny Black and 6 others like this_, and **Charlene Doofenshmirtz**, her mother, said—And what does it look like?

It's old, and black, and the bumper is coming off, and I love it.—replied **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**.

This was followed by her father, **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**, saying—Good, because that car cost a lot!

Candace scrolled down to read **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s comment—Dad, it was $900.

—to which **Heinz Doofenshmirtz** said—And that's a lot.

* * *

Candace gasped: "There he is!", when **Phineas Flynn**'s first status update of the day said—Perry wants to say hi!

Two seconds later, to Candace's _COMPLETE_ and _UTTER_ surprise, **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** said—Hi Perry!

"That girl has it _so _BAD," Candace tsked. "Poor, poor Isabella."

* * *

After surfing the Internet and listening to her parents packing, Candace saw **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s next thing to do that morning—Packing for a weekend getaway with my wonderful husband, marking our ten-3year wedding anniversary!—post on Facebook.

_Vivian Garcia-Shapiro and 2 others like this._

**Candace Flynn** typed—Now, since I'll be the adult of the house, I can bust Phineas and Ferb while you're away?

Candace sat back from her laptop and cackled mischievously as she wrung her hands together manically.

To which **Linda Flynn-Fletcher** said—Yeah, sure, Candace. Just make sure that you don't throw a reckless house party.

Candace blushed, but turned dark red in annoyance when she saw** Stacy Hirano**—We all know what happened last time!

Like they needed to bring THAT up! **Candace Flynn** typed indignantly—ಠ_ಠ

* * *

The next thing Candace saw was **Vivian Garcia-Shapiro**'s post on **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s wall: **Linda**, even though I know that you and **Lawrence** are on vacation, I wanted to wish you both a happy anniversary! I remember helping watch the kiddies at the wedding. Congratulations on ten years!

* * *

Her parents gone, the boys off in the kitchen, wondering about Perry and up to no good, Candace yawned. In her PJs still, she snuggled under her bed to brood—apparently she _could _bust Phineas and Ferb, but it wouldn't be NEARLY as satisfying because _Mom _wouldn't be the one to bust them. Whatever.

She peeped up from under her covers and **Candace Flynn** wrote—Sleeping in because there's no one to tell me to get up.

**Jeremy Johnson** wrote back—Wake up! JK. Morning beautiful.

_Candace Flynn likes this._

She smiled stupidly (he was SO sweet). Then **Stacy Hirano** said—Want me to bring over breakfast?

Tempting, but not enough to get out of bed. **Phineas Flynn** posted from the kitchen—Ferb and I are making pancakes!

To Candace's bewilderment, **Buford van Stomm** said—Yeh, i cn smell dem.

Of course, bad spelling was practically a magnet to **Baljeet Tjinder**, who quickly informed his friend—**Buford**, I'm reading a book about spelling right now. Would you like to borrow it?

Candace blinked and then, muttering to herself as she opened a chatline with Stacy, Jenny, Coltrane and (*sighhhhh*) Jeremy, said, "The boys' friends are so weird."

* * *

Candace didn't need to get up to check on the boys at all. They kept it all online. At half past ten, **Phineas Flynn** posted—I just made the coolest new high-tech tractor on Farmville!

Candace died of hysterical laughter over her high-tech brothers being obsessed with _FARMVILLE _while _Isabella Garcia-Shapiro likes this._

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** commented—**Phineas**, sometimes you really amaze me. :P

"Wow, she's not subtle," Candace said.

**Gretchen Roberts** thought the same thing—He amazes you ALL THE TIME.

**Phineas Flynn** said—What?—, causing his sister to burst into a fit of giggles. He was so _painfully _oblivious . . .

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** said, reproaching and probably blushing behind her computer screen,—**Gretchen** . . . .

* * *

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro has poked Gretchen Roberts._

Wow, Facebook was full of _fun _today.

_Gretchen Roberts has poked Isabella Garcia-Shapiro._

Candace yawned. _Boring._

_Buford van Stomm has poked Baljeet Tjinder._

Well, that wasn't surprising. In the _slightest_.

* * *

Noticing the lackluster of everyone's collective newsfeeds, **Buford van Stomm** said, in some attempt to liven things up—i wish their ws a shove button.

Candace considered the possibilities of this, musing over the idea in her mind, as **Baljeet Tjinder** commented—I'm not even going to say anything.

"About what? His spelling?" Candace wondered.

**Buford van Stomm** replied with—U jst did.

Candace smothered a snicker.

**Baljeet Tjinder** smothered all words—*Silence*

* * *

Oh thank goodness! when Candace saw that **Stacy Hirano** posted—I have officially decided that when I comment on any status, I'll comment with a quote from a movie.

"Oh really? Hmm, Stacy. How long can you keep THAT up?" Candace wondered. She knew several things about her friend, like the few times she tried to break world records or prove a point to an absurd degree, and end up failing—epically. Such as the time she tried to break the world record for the longest time keeping up a handstand. She'd made it fourteen seconds before she crashed like a burning ship. **Candace Flynn** typed determinedly—Alright, comment on this one then. :)

**Stacy Hirano** commented back quickly**—**As you wish.

Hmmm. Princess Bride. **Candace Flynn** frowned, remembering that Wesley guy—I don't really like him. He's too quiet.

No Stacy reply to that. Candace felt triumphant and impatient for her next movie quote.

* * *

Later that morning, after deciding to *yawn* get dressed and perhaps act like her day off wasn't an excuse to lay around all day, Candace found what her brothers had been doing all morning: **Phineas Flynn**: **Ferb **and I are going to make a dislike button for Facebook. Hope this goes well!

_Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, Django Brown and 17 others like this._

19 likes _in 56 seconds. _Candace tried to not be jealous but annoyed by her brothers' invention. **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**, however, commented her unwavering support: Good luck, **Phineas**, I believe in you! And, oh, you too, **Ferb**!

Candace couldn't help the smirk at the tacked-on Ferb comment, and she was not the only one to have a reply. **Ferb Fletcher**: Your undying faith in us is good to have, **Isabella**. Do you believe that **Phineas** can get me a cheese sandwich while I deal with tech support?

Candace glanced at the clock. Huh. It was already past noon. WHERE had the morning gone?

Oh yeah. Scrolling through a sleeping Facebook feed.

**Phineas Flynn** said—I'd make us sandwiches if you just asked me, **Ferb**.

**Candace Flynn** rebounded and, regaining her usual composure, indignantly typed: Hey, no food upstairs! Mom and Dad want this house exactly the way they left it! AND YOU'RE WHAT! **PHINEAS** AND **FERB**,YOU ARE BOTH SO BUSTED!

There! She tagged their names! They HAD to see that!

* * *

In the kitchen a few more minutes later, Candace pointed a finger at a patient Phineas raiding the fridge and said, "HA! Since _I_ am the adult in charge of the house since Mom and Dad are away, _I_ bust you boys! You're busted, busted, busted!"

"Okay. But, um, now what?" Phineas inquired curiously.

"Ummm . . . ummm . . ." Candace floundered as Phineas assembled a line of cheese sandwiches, then she stole her phone out of her pocket and **Candace Flynn** posted—Now that I have BUSTED! the boys, there leaves only one question: How do I punish the boys?

Surely _someone _on Facebook had a good idea. Candace felt a little twinge of relief when she saw 1 new notification from **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**: I haven't seen a dislike button here yet, so technically, they haven't done anything wrong.

_Ferb Fletcher likes this._

"Ohhhhh," Candace muttered. She paced and then discovered crumbs on the floor. Pointing at them, she said, "PHINEAS, THERE ARE CRUMBS ON THE FLOOR! CLEAN THEM UP. I WANT THIS HOUSE SPOTLESS WHEN MOM AND DAD GET HOME!"

"Okay. Calm down, Candace," Phineas said soothingly, patting her shoulder. Candace trembled from nothing going her way as Phineas swept away the crumbs.

A not-helping comment from **Stacy Hirano** said—Need help with punishing? I'll help. What are we gonna do to him, Harry?

**Candace Flynn** bristled and replied—My name's not Harry—We'll do exactly what they did to us: We're gonna burn their heads with a blowtorch! (FYI, boys, I'm not really going to do that to you. I'm your sister for Pete's sake, and a civilized human being. I'm just going along with **Stacy**.)

Her little brother, **Ferb Fletcher**, had this to say to this—Phhttt, I was getting rather worried after you yelled about the crumbs on the floor.

_Phineas Flynn likes this._

Candace blushed. Apparently he could hear her from all the way upstairs.

**Stacy Hirano** bantered enthusiastically—And smash their faces with an iron!

For how much she wanted to bust the boys to her mom, **Candace Flynn** said—(I'm really glad Mom and Dad don't have WiFi in that beach house.) How about we slap them in the face with a paint can!

"I really hope Mom doesn't surf Facebook when she gets back," Candace said. She followed Phineas up the stairs with his tray and **Ferb Fletcher** said—We never did any of that stuff to you. At all.

**Stacy Hirano** continued gleefully—Or shove a nail through their feet!

Phineas said, "That's gross. And kinda mean, to be honest, Candace."

**Candace Flynn** groaned—Humor **Stacy**, **Ferb**. First thing I'm gonna do is to bite off every one of their little fingers, one at a time. (UGH! THIS IS DISGUSTING! I'M STOPPING, **STACY**!)

"Oh! Oh! That's disgusting, Candace!" Phineas said, reading the comment thread over her arm.

**Ferb Fletcher** lengthened the thread—Oh, I see. Humor your best friend and hurt your little brother's feelings in the process. I see how this works.

**Candace Flynn** thought of something and applied her thought to her cellphone—Consider it payback for the Waffle Incident.

"I wouldn't count the Waffle Incident as adequate enough to have _this_ as payback," Phineas said.

**Ferb Fletcher** added his own opinion (he was so talkative today)—I thought the Syrup Slippers made up for that?

**Baljeet Tjinder** caught onto the action—Don't you think you should settle this face-to-face?

"Oh look! Baljeet's being the peacemaker!" Phineas said excitedly.

"Where are your little friends anyway? Shouldn't you all be outside ruining the backyard and stressing out my heart?" Candace deadpanned.

Phineas shrugged. "We're taking a Saturday off from that."

**Buford van Stomm**, however, had nothing better to do this Saturday, obviously—Do't. this is fnny.

**Baljeet** **Tjinder**, confused, said—. . . . . . . .

**Candace Flynn**, equally so, stopped right outside PnF's door and seconded the motion—. . . . . . .

"Hey Ferb!" Phineas said as the two red-headed siblings walked in.

Ferb Fletcher waved silently at them and silently commented—. . . . . . . .

_Vanessa Doofenshmirtz likes this._

"Aw. Vanessa _likes YOU_," Candace said jokingly.

Ferb said, "I rather think not," and ate his cheese sandwich, his talk done for the day.

* * *

Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein _has added _Heinz Doofenshmirtz_ and _12 others_ to the group _L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.

"Since when am I Facebook-friends with a creepy bald German guy?!" Candace wondered.

"I . . . don't know," Phineas said. He and Ferb were sitting cross-legged on their twin beds, typing quite rapidly on their laptops. Feeling left out, Candace sat between them on the floor and scrolled through her Facebook newsfeed and came across _this _guy and _this _comment—**Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz**'s comment—I really hate our name. Still, can't complain since it isn't O.W.C.A. AKA Organization Without a Cool Acronym.

"What's the O.W.C.A.?" Candace wondered.

"Probably some top-secret organization," Ferb said.

**Francis Monogram** very nearly confirmed this thoughtful thought from Ferb—Shut up about that, **Doofenshmirtz**!

"Isn't that Monty's dad?" Phineas wondered.

Before Candace could search to confirm, **Heinz Doofenshmirtz** said—How in the hey did you become my Facebook friend?

"Apparently this is a universal problem," Phineas said, referring to the wonders of various, distant Facebook friends.

**Francis Monogram** said—If you've talked to one person at the park for ten minutes, you're Facebook friends. It's how society works.

"That explains a lot," Candace said.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** didn't sound very convinced—I don't think we met at a park.

The conversation was finished by **Francis Monogram**'s annoyed comment—It was just an example. Oi.

"How am I friends with _Heinz Doofenshmirtz_?" Candace puzzled.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Phineas shrieked, making Candace jump to her feet and say "WHERE'S THE FIRE?!"

"No fire, Candace. Look. We got another email"—Phineas pointed it out to Candace while **Ferb Fletcher** alerted the social media—I really am quite honored, as is **Phineas**, that we've received several personal emails from Mark Zuckerburg about the dislike button we're creating.

_Irving Grindbore, Jeremy Johnson and 12 others like this._

"There's a lot of them, huh?" Candace said, surprised and jealous simultaneously.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** commented soon enough—Mucking with the system, are you now?

**Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz** replied with—Dad! YOU do that ALL THE TIME!,—reminding Candace of the brief conversation she and Vanessa had exchanged several summers ago aboard an ascending ski-lift. Apparently her father was an evil scientist. . .

—that probably didn't pay well.

The under-average-salaried-employee-of-the-Tri-State-area-slash-evil-scientist, **Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz**, responded with a sheepish comeback**—**:-X

* * *

Soon enough, later that afternoon, as the sun stretched and traveled its way across the sky and Candace said, "Oh, there's Perry," **Heinz Doofenshmirtz** livened things up with—I think I've gotten the hang of these emoticons. :-))

"Oh, I _highly _doubt that," Candace said.

**Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz** imparted to her friends this comment—:S

"Um, guys? This is weird," Phineas said. Drawing his siblings over his shoulders, he pointed to** Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein**'s comment—You've only now figured them out? Oh, **Heinz**, how behind the times you are! Her her, her her her.

"That's the worst name I've heard of in my entire life," Candace said immediately.

"I concur," Ferb said.

"It _IS _kinda bad," Phineas said.

**Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz**'s response was eagerly awaited—Yeah? And you're :-|. Besides, no one laughs like that. HA ha ha ha.

To which **Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein** creeped the kids out with—Oh! I'm /so/ scared! That was sarcasm, btw, Doofy, :P. And I do. Her her her her her.

"I'm defriending Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein," Candace said, wide-eyed.

* * *

"Yes! We did it! We finished making Facebook's first dislike button!" Phineas cheered.

Candace groaned from her flopping around their bedroom floor and said, "Wow. Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher made a negative-opinion-imposing device. Who would've thunk it?"

**Ferb** **Fletcher** was too busy typing to break down into thankful celebration as his brother kissed their platypus—After seven hours, ten grilled cheese sandwiches, three rounds of jump rope, six spoonfuls of peanut butter, all the music on my iPal being played nine and three-quarters times, a broken snow globe, and a lost platypus, **Phineas **and I have created the dislike button. Feel free to use it now!

"I don't want to listen to Tiny Cowboy ever again," Candace said.

"Candace! Are you feeling okay?" Phineas worried.

"Yeah. Just a little tired of them right now," Candace said wearily.

"Here," Phineas said, unplugging her cellphone from its charger and handing it to her. "Use the new button. It'll make you feel better."

_Phineas Flynn, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and 19 others like this. Candace Flynn dislikes this._

"Whoa. I feel better," Candace said, amazed.

**Ferb** **Fletcher** quipped—Oh, **Candace**, I am so insulted!

"Oh, I'm so sorry for taking you literally!" Candace said.

Their aunt, **Tiana** **Webber**, acted as peacemaker—Don't take it to heart, **Ferb**, she has to annoy you. Sisters have to, it's a rule. :)

"Aw. Aunt Tiana writes the sweetest comments," Phineas said.

**Candace** **Flynn**, however, was too busy typing to agree with him—Hey, you said feel free to use it! Besides, I wanted to see if it actually worked so that you can be OFFICIALLY busted for it! Seeing as I can't really think of a way to punish you guys, Mom can do it when she gets home Sunday night!

* * *

Later on, rave reviews came by the way of the new dislike button—**Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz**—This new dislike button really rocks. I've disliked the pages Pink, Rainbows, Butterflies, and Unicorns!

"It's being put to such good use!" Phineas said enthusiastically.

**Candace** **Flynn** said—Well, I've used it to dislike Farmville!

"Nice invention, guys," Candace commended them.

"Was that a compliment, Candace?" Ferb said, to his siblings' surprise.

"Um, yeah?" Candace said uncertainly.

"How few and far between," Ferb said, amused.

Ten minutes later, this comment from **Isabella** **Garcia-Shapiro** read—Irony much, **Candace**? Besides, I thought you played Farmville now?

. . . That was an irrefutable truth. **Candace Flynn **indignantly typed—That doesn't mean I like it! Just trying to survive in today's society.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**'s response—Surrreeeeeeeee...okay.

As if anyone would believe _that_.

* * *

That night, after ordered-in pizza and a movie, **Phineas Flynn** _has added_ 12 pictures _to the album_ Hanging out with my bro.

"And sister," Candace said. She wore her purple pajamas and talked around a foaming toothbrush.

Aunt **Tiana Webber**'s comment flew in like clockwork—You guys are too cute!

**Blonde-Haired Beckham Fletcher** was next: yes, adorably fetching.

"Our cousins are really weird," Candace muttered before going to blurt out toothpaste bubbles.

"Our aunt and uncle are really big soccer fans," Phineas said.

"Football." **Ferb Fletcher** also said to his cousin—Get off, **Beckham**. Say hello to Uncle Adrian and Aunt Lucy for me. Why don't they have Facebook?

"Yeah, whatever," Candace said. Returned with her mouth rinsed out, she bent over to read on Ferb's laptop—**Brown-Haired Pelé Fletcher**—Mum and Dad reckon it's boring and a waste of time, which it really is.

**Phineas Flynn** said from over on his laptop—That's why **Ferb** and I made the dislike button. It's livens things up a little.

"Hm. What can he say to THAT?" Candace said, smug and immensely proud of her brothers.

**Brown-Haired Pelé Fletcher** replied—True that mate.

* * *

Late that night, looming on Facebook, Candace discovered **Jenny Brown**'s first of many—11:11, I wish that people would take the time to feed the pigeons. It's a nice gesture to those unappreciated birds.

_Django Brown disliked this._

Her brother obviously knew what was up. **Django Brown** said—Give it a rest, **Jenny**!

Candace expected nothing more from her ditzy friend. She just hoped it wouldn't become a constant habit of hers. . .

* * *

That next day, Sunday, after surviving a whole weekend of lukewarmingly-busting her brothers, **Candace Flynn** cheerfully posted—Time to get the house clean! Mom and Dad are coming home tonight! Hey, where's Perry?—that last line was out of actual curiosity, as they'd been cleaning for the last hour and no pet platypus had yet popped up.

A few minutes later, taking a well-needed break after dancing around to Tiny Cowboy (the ability to listen to them had come back around 3:32) and dusting, Candace saw **Baljeet Tjinder**'s comment on her post—**Phineas** said I could say that today.

**Candace Flynn** asked—Why do we need someone to say it everyday?

**Baljeet Tjinder**, since he wasn't at Phineas and Ferb's house, obviously was eager to reply to comment threads on Facebook that Sunday—his answer was quick—really quick—It is our way of breaking the Fourth Wall.

**Candace Flynn** was thoroughly alarmed—FOURTH WALL? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

"Phineas! Ferb! Do you guys have something to do with our Fourth Wall?!" Candace called across the house, as **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** worried and wondered—Does this mean our world is a world other people watch or have created? Weird...

The boys' heads peeked out from around a corner, Phineas's triangular head with a maid's kerchief tied around it, and Ferb bearing a tricked-out vacuum. He held up a finger and said, "The fourth wall in a play is the invisible wall dividing the audience from the three walls that make up the make-believe house on-stage in which the character of the plays reside."

"Um . . . I don't _think _so," Phineas said uncertainly.

**Stacy Hirano** had the last word of that thread—All me life flashed before me eyes: It was really boring. We mustn't panic. We mustn't panic! Arrrggghhhhh! :3

* * *

**Jeremy Johnson**, later on, made Candace feel entirely better about the whole Fourth Wall thing (it was just because _Jeremy _posted about it)— The Fourth Wall's been broken. I guess it was only a matter of time.

_Coltrane Laker and Stacy Hirano like this._

* * *

After an exhaustive but fulfilling weekend, **Ferb Fletcher** related the real story of Candace's panic—The house is clean, dinner cooking, Perry found, and **Candace** spent the whole day with Mr. Miggins in the Panic Room. On top of that, the dislike button disappeared!

_Buford van Stomm and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz like this._

Candace emerged and instead of freaking out as she looked at Ferb, she said, "Of course it's gone."

Mr. Miggins's eyeball had popped off from Candace's insistent squeezing.

**Baljeet Tjinder **inquired—Have you tried to find the file?

**Ferb Fletcher** typed and kept an eye on the turducken in the oven—I've been on the computer for an hour and it. Is. Gone.

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** commented a few minutes later, as the oven's timer went off—Sorry to hear about it, **Ferb**!

**Candace Flynn** secretly smugly smiled but said benignly—THE MYSTERIOUS FORCE!

**Ferb Fletcher**, not amused at this attempt at humor after the tech-hell he'd been through, said dryly—Look who finally emerged out of the Panic Room.

**Candace Flynn **could actually take things in stride—:)O

* * *

Later that night, relieved of her siblingly-parenting duties, **Candace Flynn** posted the good and the bad of the day—Mom and Dad are home! ANNNDDDDDD the dislike button is gone. Dang.

_Stacy Hirano liked this._

As best friends oft do.

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher**, now the possessor of WiFi, said—I guess that's how some things work out, sweetheart.

**Candace Flynn** said childishly—WELL, UGH.

_Stacy Hirano, Buford van Stomm and 2 others like this._

Surprisingly,** Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** left that night with—I agree.

* * *

**Can anybody guess Stacy's movie quotes? I'd like to credit WordNerb93 for the idea of the dislike button! Thank you for all the suggestions and for reading and reviewing! God bless!**


	3. Okay, Who's the REAL Ferb Fletcher?

**_Soli Deo gloria_**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb or any references to other movies I added to this story. I'm sorry for taking so long to update! I've got stuff to do . . . like play around on the Internet . . . . sorry. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR VERY LOVELY REVIEWS!**

* * *

The following week Ferb saw on Facebook the news that his sister, **Candace Flynn**, had been stressing and then elated about all week, joyfully announced to all her friends on social media—I'm applying for my first long-term summer job!

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Tiana Webber and six others like this._

**Ferb Fletcher** commented—This begs the question: How is it long-term if it only lasts for the summer?_  
_

Summer, after all, was in full-swing. He and Phineas had constructed a huge inflatable castle stuffed to the gills with stuffed animals to jump in, crocheted an afghan that covered the entire house, and given Perry a bath. His curiosity was stemmed by a** Stacy Hirano **movie quotation**—**I don't like the looks of this one: his eyes are too close together. _  
_

**Ferb Fletcher **sighed—of course she would go into a commenting tangent. He replied with a matter-of-fact**—**They are not! My eyes are just fine. You're just jealous because they're British eyes . . . .—He knew of her and Candace's Anglophile-ness.

**Candace Flynn **from the other room said**—**Yes, **Ferb**, we're all very jealous of your British eyes. It's long-term because it's not going to last for one day like my previous ones!

Well, at least he got a semi-reasonable answer.

* * *

That Saturday the boys had planned on making the world's biggest dollhouse, but that project was put on temporary hold because, as** Phineas Flynn **said it best**—**I like rainy weather. It's an excuse to go on the Internet!

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**, sitting on the _S.S. Phineas_, typed on her phone**—**Okay, who hijacked **Phineas's **Facebook account?

**Baljeet Tjinder**, attached to the bathrobe-hanger on the boys' bedroom door, responded**—**I'd think **Buford** if he knew how.

**Buford van Stomm** stood by the teenager, keeping watch to make sure Baljeet didn't wiggle his way down. His intelligent response was—i don;t hijack. i;m not the capital.

**Baljeet Tjinder**'s voice was the Internet rather than the physical utterance of words**—**I feel like I'm taking part in some torture.

Ferb too felt his brain cells die because of Buford's bad grammar. **Ginger Hirano**, seated along with the rest of the Senior Fireside Girls scattered about the boys' bedroom, said—Look away, **Baljeet**!

**Baljeet Tjinder **said**—**I feel like Peeta! (His name is not spelled like the bread, Buford.)

**Buford van Stomm**'s eloquent addition to the argument was this last word**—**i hungry now.

"Have all our arguments been reduced to talking on the Internet?" said Ferb, to the horrified realization of the entire assembly.

* * *

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s new Facebook status made Isabelle go "Ohh, Ferb! Come see this!" He looked up from his thoroughly nit-gnat-tick-flea-picking of Perry the Platypus and read over Isabella's shoulder**—**Bringing my new car home and it breaks down. Sigh.

Ferb remained outwardly calmly, while inwardly he blushed at Isabella knowing his crush on the girl. He didn't move as he read **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**'s start on a comment thread**—**You were lucky I was there with Norm!

To which **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz **said**—**Dad, you got towed.

If she'd called Ferb, he would've whipped up a quick transportation robot with Phineas and been there in no time TO—TOOOOO! . . . to tinker with her car until he'd fixed it. In the meantime, **Charlene Doofenshmirtz** added her two cents' to the convo**—**And that's why I always show up.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** could almost be heard scoffing**—**It wasn't my fault; it was Norm's!

****Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein ****then added—Blame everything you do on someone else? How typical, **Heinz**.

"Isn't that the guy who creeped out Candace last week?" Phineas wondered, also reading over Isabella's shoulder.

Ferb nodded and decided to act cool despite being a witness to Isabella's unadulterated adoring look at Phineas's face. "Indeed."

"I hope someone puts him in his place. He's creepy," Isabella said, getting in-unison nods from the brothers.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz **became their then new hero**—**Shut it, **Rodney**.

* * *

Phineas got into a bit of a predicament. He made **Ferb Fletcher **say**—**This is **Phineas**. Somebody changed my password and I want it back.

His crush looked indignantly about the room, determined to find the culprit of this horrible prank. **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **inquired**—**Okay, who stole it? **Baljeet**, **Buford**, **Ferb**, **Can****dace**?

The friends looked at one another. "Don't look at me," Buford demanded.

"True. You're not a total computer geek able to hack Phineas's account, Buford," Baljeet pointed out matter-of-factly.

"A fact of which I am proud," Buford said proudly.

**Ferb Fletcher**, meanwhile, took over his account from Phineas's fingers for a second**—**Why am I in the accused? Really, **Isabella**. **Phineas**, I don't want your password.

Phineas, however, operated as **Ferb Fletcher **on his (Phineas's) laptop**—**Wait a minute; since we're sharing your account at the moment, nobody will know who's being who.

**Ferb Fletcher **said**—**Alright then.

Thus began a rather Jekyll-and-Hyde one-sided Internet convo.

**Ferb** **Fletcher** said—What are we going to invent today?

**Ferb Fletcher**'s reply**—**Want to explore Facebook with me?

To which **Ferb Fletcher **imitated his uncle with**—**Okay!

**Candace Flynn **interjected by sticking her head through the boys' doorway and typing and publishing a fierce response—You know you're both in the same room, right? You can just talk to each other face-to-face.

**Ferb Fletcher**'s sass was tangible**—Candace**, what exactly is your point?

**Candace Flynn** sighed at her little brother**—**Oi . . . . .

* * *

**Candace Flynn**'s next notice to Facebook was—I GOT THE JOB!

_Jeremy Johnson, Stacy Hirano, Coltrane Laker and thirty others like this._

_View all 21 comments  
_

* * *

Ferb knew he was turning into quite the teenager when he sat with his laptop listening to music late at night. Until just recently, he and Phineas had kept a strict curfew of ten o'clock—until now. Ferb surfed Facebook while Phineas slept in his bed with a little snoozing platypus snoring gently under his arm. Going through his newsfeed, Ferb caught **Jenny Brown—**My 11:11 wish is that penguins would not get their heads stuck in soda's plastic.

**Jeremy Johnson **proved himself awake as he said**—**Watching Happy Feet again, hey, **Jenny**?

**Stacy Hirano **added some movie quote that actually fit into the context of the conversation**—**I'm speaking plain penguin.

**Jenny Brown **replied**—**Isn't anyone else concerned about the poor birds?

"It would appear not," Ferb murmured to no one but himself.

**Django Brown **spoke for the rest of the human race**—**I am, but I don't wish for them to be freed or stuff like that.

**Jenny Brown **finished the convo in her quiet, indignant way**—**Fine, be that way. I have to go light candles.

Ferb decided it was time for bed.

* * *

The next next morning, **Candace Flynn**'s first post caught Ferb's eye**—**First day at new job AND IT'S SO HOT OUT.

**Stacy Hirano **replied with several stickers and an**—**I swear, I'm sweating like a sinner in church!

Ferb poured himself some cereal and joined Phineas, his mother, and father in watching a dressed-for-work Candace dancing about the kitchen. It was hard to take her seriously as an employee when she was your older sister humming Ducky Momo's theme song under her breath.

**Adyson Sweetwater** then added another subject to the post**—**We're trying out for our Being a Life Guard in Potentially Heat Stroke Inducing Weather patch. Do you have that one, Miss-Fifty-Patches-In-One-Day?

Candace frowned, but then that turned right side-up when **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **said reassuringly, to boost Candace's boisterous confidence—**Adyson**, just calm down. Let's head out. Hope everything goes well, **Candace**!

* * *

Ferb told his mother Candace got to her workplace just fine when he saw that **Candace Flynn **checked into **Flowers Say Love**.

* * *

**Ferb Fletcher **then posted later that morning—We've been looking around Facebook and noticed something.

**Ferb Fletcher **added**—**There's something called Timeline. We're getting it.

**Baljeet Tjinder **hastily wrote**—**Wait, my friends, do not do that! Timeline mixes everything around like puzzle pieces! I cannot find my favorite quotes!

Phineas and Ferb did a thorough examination of their now shared Facebook account and Phineas said to Ferb, "Oops."

**Buford van Stomm **voiced his loud opinion**—**bet their all from al einstein.—Neither Phineas or Ferb doubted the truth of this accusation.

**Baljeet Tjinder **said**—**Well, yes, but that is beside the point!

**Ferb Fletcher **then decided to collectively answer Baljeet's word of wisdom**—**Too late. Got it.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** quickly said, to not feel left out—Me too!

* * *

**Buford**** van Stomm **_added_ a life event to his timeline_**:** _**i eat**** a bug and it was delicius.**

**Buford**** van Stomm**_ added a life event to his timeline: _**i beat up baleet for the first time.**

**Buford**** van Stomm**_ added a life event to his timeline: _**i spiled ice crem on myselve.**

**Baljeet Tjinder** simply said**—**HELP.

* * *

**Candace Flynn **_added_** Flowers Say Love **_to her work_**_._**

She was quick, this one.

* * *

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** _updated her cover photo._

"Phineas, isn't this a wonderful photograph of Isabella?" Ferb said, not-so-subtly being a shipper.

His stepbrother obliviously fell into his trap and said cheerfully, "Wow, this is really good! Where's it from?

**Ferb Fletcher **asked on behalf of his brother, and** Milly Jones** said**—**AWW. It's us when we graduated from Lil' Sparks. I think you took the picture **Phineas**—er, **Ferb**. :P

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro likes this._

"Ask and you shall receive, brother," Ferb said.

Phineas anticlimactically only said, "Those were good times, eh, Ferb?" before turning back to his laptop.

Well, Ferb tried.

* * *

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz**_ added a life event to his timeline:_ **Vanessa's adorable 6th birthday.**_  
_

Ferb went through every photo Heinz posted.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz **_added a life event to his timeline:_** Perry the Platypus defeats my 1000th inator. Whoopy.  
**

Ferb wondered what the hey that meant.

* * *

Later that morning, the fruit of the boys' labor over the past couple of hours made it debut on the Inter-Webs. **Ferb Fletcher **decreed to the Facebook world—**Phineas Flynn **and **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **have helped me make **Perry the Platypus **an account!

"I probably shouldn't've tagged your name," Ferb mused, when he showed Phineas.

**Ferb Fletcher**'s alter ego brother sighed**—**I'm going to have so many notifications when I get my password back.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **encouraged everyone**—**Go be friends with **Perry the Platypus**!

And so people did.

* * *

Perry_ the Platypus is now friends with Jeremy Johnson, Ginger Hirano, and twenty others._

* * *

Ferb looked up to hear Phineas say, "Oh, poor Vanessa." **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s status update read a sorry account of an impatient waiting game being played**—**Car is still at the shop . . . . .

**Johnny Black said—**Don't worry, babe, it'll be fine.—Ferb _might've_ blushed dark pink in anger, and Phineas noticed it.

_Vanessa Doofenshmirtz likes this._

And that. So '**Ferb Fletcher**'said**—**That dislike button needs to make a comeback.

_Ferb Fletcher likes this._

And the real **Ferb Fletcher **wrestled the mouse away from his well-meaning brother**—**We need to find your password. SOON.

However, he gave Phineas a thankful look.

* * *

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher has listed Lawrence Fletcher as her_ **husband**, _Ca__ndace Flynn as her _**daughter**_, Phineas Flynn as her _**son**_, Ferb Fletcher as her **son**, Tiana Webber as her_ **sister**, _and Bob Webber as her_** brother-in-law.**

The Flynn-Fletcher family was busy online that day.

* * *

Ferb was _SO_ not Facebook-stalking **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s page when she said**—**Practically all my friends have Timeline. Why do people like it?

**Candace Flynn** inquired**—**What's Timeline?

Well. Candace was home for a really big shock. And Ferb knew how well his sister took surprises.

* * *

**Candace Flynn** freaked out to the entire family at dinner and then escaped to the Panic Room to say**—**OH MY GOSH. I just came home from work AND THIS IS WHAT I SEE. WHAT HAPPENED. WHAT IS WITH FACEBOOK. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TIMELINE EXCEPT ME. WHY DOES PERRY HAVE A FACEBOOK. IS THIS ABLE TO HAPPEN IN JUST A FEW HOURS. HOW CAN I DO THIS. I CAN'T. WHY IS THE WORLD AGAINST ME?

**Stacy Hirano**, to Ferb's not-surprise, provided a helpful word of cheerful humor**—**May the odds be ever in your favor. :D

Ferb was secretly proud of his sister, **Candace Flynn**'s, reply (they mightn't share blood, but the sass ran strong through their veins)—**Stacy**, thank you for your undying notion that I will fail miserably at using the computer. I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out.

* * *

**Candace Flynn** informed the world of her brother's little help and visit down into the Panic Room**—**I'm supplied with a doughnut and a can of soda via **Ferb Fletcher **(but which brother? THAT is the real question). Anyway, let's figure out this Timeline thingie!

* * *

Five minutes later—less than—**Candace Flynn **said**—**WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND MADE TIMELINE. AHHH.

**Stacy** **Hirano** quoted gleefully and unhelpfully—Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. :)

**Candace Flynn **demanded**—**Go on chat, **Stacy**. Quickly.

* * *

**Ferb Fletcher **_posted on _**Candace Flynn's **_wall—_**Candace**, it's one in the morning. If you can't figure your way around Timeline, just go to sleep and **Ferb **and I can show you tomorrow.

**Candace Flynn**'s reply was quite clear as to what she was feeling—no.

* * *

The next morning, Ferb discovered his sister with frozen open eyes quivering at a computer screen. He got her up and after making her go to bed, **Ferb Fletcher **said conclusively**—Candace Flynn **is officially no computer geek.

**Candace Flynn** wasn't off her computer yet—apparently—And I'm proud of that. I don't want to be one of those geeky nerds anyway.

**Ferb Fletcher**'s silence was palpable—. . . . . . .

**Baljeet Tjinder**,**Albert Grindbore**, and **Irving Grindbore**, all quite offended, repeated the word**—**Hey!—in shock.

* * *

**Buford van Stomm**_ likes _Punching_, _Wrestling_, and 11 other pages._

_So,_ thought Ferb,_ nothing new there._

* * *

_Perry the Platypus is now friends with Francis Monogram and Carl Karl.  
_

**Ferb Fletcher **was surprised as to how his pet platypus's silly account, that which Phineas had pretty much made with the sole purpose of having his account back while he worked at debunking _his_ account, had garnered these people**—**Who?_  
_

There was that _ONE_ Carl kid he and his brother and friends had played with once . . . but why would Perry be friends with him?

* * *

**Ferb Fletcher**'s outcry was desperate**—**This is **Phineas**. Have any of you hacked me for the fun of it? Can you give me my password back? **Ferb****'s **message inbox is really, REALLY, WEIRD.

Ferb scrambled to grab the laptop from a chortling, mirth-filled Phineas.

**Ferb Fletcher **commented**—**This is **Ferb. **PLEASE ALL YOU PEOPLE HE'S LAUGHING AT A CHAT I HAD WITH SOMEONE HELP ME.

Their mother,** Linda Flynn-Fletcher**, kept the sibling scuffle short**—**Boys, go to the help on Facebook. They might help you.

**Ferb Fletcher **said one last—'Kay, Mum.—before hurrying to beg the staff of the site for some help. NOW.

* * *

While Phineas paced the room and talked to a staff member, Ferb caught sight of **Buford van Stomm**'s newest status update**—**will sombody send me a irish goat on farville.

**Baljeet Tjinder**, as per usual, commented.**—**I didn't know there was a Farville. Is it a place where all the people who play Farmville go to leave us alone? Is there a Nearville? A Far Far Awayville? The possibilities are endless.

Ferb chuckled. However, **Buford van Stomm **wasn't so amused**—**phinas adn ferb need to make a shove buton.

* * *

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz**, Vanessa's father, randomly said—**Perry the Platypus **won't accept my friend request.

"He did seem enamored with Perry that one time he came over for dinner," Phineas pointed out, shrugging. Then the phone person came back from a fifteen-minute on-hold during which Phineas was forced to endure non-stop Lindana. He talked to the staff member with obvious glee.

* * *

**Phineas Flynn **(thank goodness) posted an announcement—I HAVE MY PASSWORD BACK!

It was about time. Though Ferb didn't _truly_ dislike sharing an account with his brother, everyone wants his own things private, eventually.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** said**—**YOU'VE BEEN UNHIJACKED.

To both the boys' (and evidently Isabella's) confusion, **Ginger Hirano**, **Milly** **Jones**, and **Adyson Sweetwater** all commented**—**he he he he.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**'s confusion came through—What?

The confusion was met with **Adyson Sweetwater's—**You haven't read them, have you?

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **asked**—**Read what?

Oh. The Hunger Games books. Popular now and a good, solid read. Suddenly Ferb caught what the girls were implying. But Phineas wondered, "What are they talking about?"

Oh, Phineas.

**Adyson Sweetwater**, a true friend, said**—**I take that as a no. I'M BRINGING THEM OVER.

* * *

A few weeks later, exciting news entered the Flynn-Fletcher household via the mailbox. **Candace Flynn **announced**—**I got my first official paycheck today!_  
_

**Ferb Fletcher **took a peek out into the hall before saying**—**Was that why I saw a package of Ducky Momo collectibles on our porch?

**Candace Flynn **immediately typed**—**IT CAME? WHERE'D YOU HIDE IT.—as she raced around the house. She'd ordered with a credit card and was ready to now pay her mother back.

**Ferb Fletcher** informed her**—**I didn't hide it. I put it in your room.

Sounds of scrambling up the stairs, screaming in excitement, tape being cut; then **Candace Flynn **said**—**Thanks for doing that and for revealing to the Internet world that I collect Ducky Momo.

**Ferb Fletcher **wasn't one to not banter with his quick wit**—**I recall that you did that yourself at a convention a few years back.

**Candace Flynn **couldn't match that. So she simply said**—**Be quiet, **Ferb**.

* * *

**The movies quotes for chapter 2 were: Wesley from The Princess Bride, Marv and Harry from Home Alone, and Babs and Bunty from Chicken Run. Congrats to all who recognized the quotes; see now if you guys can catch the quotes I used in this chappie!**

**I'd like to credit RosyInkLiv54 for the idea of Perry getting an account and FeuWitch for the idea for Timeline. I hope you liked this chapter (and found it as humourous as the others), and please review! God bless!**


	4. The 4th of July

**_Soli Deo gloria_**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb or any of the movie or book references in this parody fic.  
**

* * *

Isabella, one fine new July morning, saw **Candace Flynn**'s first status update—People are going crazy at work with the Fourth of July coming up on Wednesday.

Oh, the Fourth of July! Isabella had earned five new patches in honor of the day, including, among others, the Patriotic Pledging Allegiance to the United States' Flag Twenty Times in a Row patch and Ignoring Any and All Brits for One Day patch. She read **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s reply—And why is that?

To which **Candace Flynn** responded matter-of-factly—Apparently for every occasion there's a flower, and so we have a bunch of different kinds of flowers that are red, white, and blue that are put into bunches. I don't see why they're so popular.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** cheerfully commented—They sound pretty, **Candace**!

_Milly Jones and Adyson Sweetwater like this._

**Candace Flynn** said, to Isabella's surprise and wrinkled brow—Of course they do, if you're a blind bat. They look pretty ugly.

**Tiana Webber**, who Isabelle recognized as _Phineas_'s aunt—emphasis and blush on the _Phineas_ part—, finished the convo—Don't let your boss hear you say that, **Candace**. You're sounding like a disloyal employee!

* * *

Jeremy Johnson_ has created the event _4th of July Pool Party!

For once, Phineas and Ferb wouldn't be the ones throwing the party, but then they'd still _be_ there, so it was okay.

**Coltrane Laker** voiced a collective opinion—Sounds awesome! Can't wait to be there!

**Stacy Hirano** was next—We're going to have a magnificent garden party.

**Coltrane Laker** was left relatively speechless, making Isabella giggle—. . . and you're not invited.

Isabella kept an eye on the convo as she nearly tripped on Pinky on the way down her stairs; "Oops! Sorry, Pinky," she squealed apologetically. She looked up from petting her undisturbed-yet-extremely-shaky-dog to a ping of **Stacy Hirano**—I really felt quite distressed of not receiving an invitation.

**Coltrane Laker**, confused as often males are (_and oblivious_, Isabella sighed)—**Stacy**, I was just finishing the quote. . . . You girls are so complicated.

**Candace Flynn** from across the street (or at her job, according to her Wi-Fi check-in)—Better believe it, bucko. :)

* * *

Irving Grindbore_ has created the group_ Phineas and Ferb Lovers!

Isabella sat at her kitchen table eating a bowl of cinnamon-sugar cereal and going through Facebook. She thought to herself _That sounds like a group I'd be a part of!_

**Buford van Stomm**'s opinion of the group was less than favorable—ppulation, fanboy.

**Irving Grindbore** commented—Shush it. Being a fanboy is hard work, I should have you know. OHHHH, MY PICTURES ARE DONE!

* * *

Irving Grindbore_ has added_ 64 _pictures to the album_ Phineas and Ferb!

_Irving Grindbore likes this._

"Isa! Are you going over to Phineas and Ferb's?" Vivian, Isabella's talkative, warm mother asked. She was busy cooking a new recipe for her supper club and also balancing a conversation with both her daughter and her friend Linda over the phone. "Linda says they are waiting for you."

"I'll be right there!" Isabella washed off her dishes with alarming speed and checked the newest convo quickly, which had **Albert Grindbore** saying—Seriously, **Irving**, why do you obsess about those boys? You look like a teenage girl with no life—before feeling self-conscious and running out the door just the same.

Isabella checked **Irving Grindbore**'s last word after she crossed the street, and she did so with a satisfied smile—You're just jealous because I get to hang out with **Phineas** and **Ferb**!

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro likes this._

* * *

"Hey, guys! Whatcha doin'?" Isabelle wondered as she crossed the Flynn-Fletcher backyard to join the boys. Both Phineas and Ferb, gangly teenagers, were sitting against their favorite old tree. They looked up from their phones; Ferb waved courteously and Phineas said, "Oh, just checking Facebook before our next project. I wanna show you something, Isabella. C'mere."

Isabella blushed hard but Phineas didn't notice because he concentrated on his fingers pulling up a status. "See this?" he said.

The blush disappeared as Isabella read, puzzled, **Heinz Doofenshmirtz'**s latest status update—Why doesn't **Perry the Platypus** accept my friend request? Ugh.

"Isn't that Vanessa's dad?" inquired Isabella.

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** commented in confirmation—He doesn't like you, Dad. He doesn't want to be your friend.

Isabella's, Phineas's, and Ferb's own thoughts about this were voiced by **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**—How do you know that?

**Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz**'s next comment—Dad, he's your nemesis. It's kind of a given that he's not going to want to be your friend.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** added more mystery—There's a chance. . . .

**Phineas Flynn **chose this time to intervene—Are y'all talking about our **Perry**?

**Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz **said—Yep.

"Um, so that's not totally weird at all," Isabella chirped nervously.

Ferb nodded and **Phineas Flynn** finished with—Okay . . . .

* * *

Irving Grindbore _has_ _added _Isabella Garcia-Shapiro _to_ _the_ _group_ Phineas and Ferb Lovers!

**Isabella** **Garcia-Shapiro **looked a little worriedly at Phineas and Ferb, but neither seemed to notice. They were too busy building another elaborate project that would no doubt help the Fireside Girls get another patch, get Candace wanting to bust them, and disappear before their mom got home—Okay. . . .

_Milly Jones, Adyson Sweetwater and two others like this._

Oh, they would, wouldn't they?

* * *

The day before the annual Johnson Fourth of July, **Hawkeye Johnson** updated them—Just got back from the store and got stuff for the party tomorrow. Hope I didn't forget anything!

Isabella, busy feeding Pinky, heard her mother type fast on her computer. Putting the dog food (and special Fireside-Girl-made doggie treats, which were supposed to only be on special occasions given to the jumpy little doggy) away, Isabelle checked her phone—**Vivian Garcia-Shapiro**—Oh, did you want me to bring bean salad for tomorrow? Because I make a very good bean salad, you know. A very good one. I'll make one, I just hope that the jalapeños won't make it too spicy for everyone though I do like it very spicy, very spicy indeed. I grow up with them and I've grown to love the spiciness; we used to grow them.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** typed, eyeing the empty coffeemaker, which worked hard throughout the day besides the morning—Do you want to ease off the coffee, Mom?

**Vivian Garcia-Shapiro** yelled across the room and also said for everyone on the Interwebs to know—Good idea, Isa.

* * *

That night, Isabella, finished singing her hairbrush-in-the-mirror-song, flopped onto her bed and said, "Well, Pinky, let's see what's new on Facebook." She'd spent the entire evening busy with her Fireside Girl troop tie-dying bandannas into stripes and stars. She saw that **Phineas** **Flynn** posted—Just a couple more hours until America's birthday!

Oh, his statuses _were_ _so cute._

**Ferb** **Fletcher** informed her further, to her giggling—He was going to go berserk making a cake and everything but we decided that the fireworks will be enough.

**Candace** **Flynn**, never one to miss an important imparting of info, demanded the presence of Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher—MOM THEY'RE USING FIREWORKS. MOM. MOM. CHAT SAYS YOU'RE ONLINE. MOM.

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** kept up the convo—I do see your desperate plea for me to bust your brothers, **Candace**. Boys, do you have fireworks?

Isabella figured that since she couldn't be in their presence and see their facial expressions, their Facebook interactions would have to work. She read **Ferb Fletcher**'s new reply—Yes, but we're firing them off according to the directions on the box.

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s consent—All right, just be careful.

"Those will be great fireworks, Pinky," Isabella said cheerfully. She pet her shivering chihuahua, who panted in agreement. Meanwhile, **Candace Flynn** had the anticipated reaction—THAT'S IT, MOM? SERIOUSLY?

To which her father,** Lawrence Fletcher**, added a nostalgic reminiscence—Back in my day we had something called sparklers.

**Candace Flynn** pointed out—Dad, you didn't even come to America until a few years ago. . .

**Lawrence Fletcher** finished that convo with—Oh, that's right. . .

Isabella waited a few more minutes, but since there were no more new notifications, messages, or comments on that particular conversation initiated by her crush, she set her cellphone on its charger and picked up the last Hunger Games book, Mockingjay. She only had a few chapters left. She hoped it ended happily . . . so she laid back against her pillow, under her covers, all cozy, and picked up the book to read. . .

* * *

At 4:34 in the morning, after a horrified state of sad panic, **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** posted in a calmer manner—Wow, these Hunger Games books are amazing. Thanks for lending them to me, **Adyson**.

_Adyson Sweetwater likes this._

**Adyson Sweetwater**, obviously, didn't understand the finer points of sarcasm. For she said—No prob! Always here to help a fellow tribute!

Isabella went to sleep feeling haunted, and work up with frizzy bedhead. Listening to Phineas and the Ferbtones and brushing her humidized hair, she read what **Candace Flynn** ignorantly said—What's the Hunger Games?

**Adyson** **Sweetwater** was quick to jump on this one. Isabella herself would've undertaken the task, if she wasn't sleep-deprived and emotionally-drained—Have you been living under a rock, **Candace**?

Within a few seconds, **Baljeet Tjinder** jumped on the ship—Even **Buford** has read them, and **Buford** doesn't read anything!

**Stacy Hirano** stepped in enthusiastically—They're wholly AWESOME!

Isabella inwardly applauded and then **Buford van Stomm** contributed—yu sirsuly hav't red them?

**Django** **Brown** add, probably being a mouthpiece for all of the commentators who couldn't speak for their brain cells had died—Wow. . .

Even someone Isabelle vaguely remembered, **Wendy 'I'm Going To Beat Candace Flynn In Getting That Mr. Slushy Dawg Job' Li**, commented, even if her statement was unhelpful to the conversation—OH MY GOSH YOU'RE SO WEIRD YOU HAVEN'T READ THEM.

Isabella, trying to find her cheerful self back, went and sang in the shower, and then dressed in her most patriotic. As she walked down the stairs singing 'The Star-Spangled Banner' under her breath, she read **Candace Flynn**'s comment—I thought I deleted you off of my friend list, *deletes you off while wearing a satisfied smile*

Then, of all people, **Suzy Johnson** . . .—**Jeremy** said that he only likes girls who read them! BWUAHAHAHAHAHHAA I READ THEM.

**Stacy Hirano**, ever a best friend, said mournfully—Oh, now they're just being mean.

**Jeremy Johnson** brought the much-needed honesty into the conversation—I never said that, **Suzy**.

_Candace Flynn likes this._

The grand finale of Isabella's latest status post? **Suzy Johnson**—Bubbles!

* * *

**Irving Grindbore** posted on **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**'s wall: Hey, **Isabella**, you didn't reply to me on chat. I want to talk about **Phineas** and **Ferb** with you!

Isabella _had _been ignoring Irving on chat, but she'd been busy! She read three books, and earned five and a half patches, and organized a segment of the Johnson Fourth of July party, and bathed Pinky, and—and—Irving wasn't someone she wanted to talk about Phineas and Ferb with. They each had different views on the boys; Irving had them both equally set on pedestals, while Isabella _liked _Phineas and was almost on bro-status with Ferb. Irving just wouldn't _understand_.

And** Buford van Stomm** ejaculated—yOU did;t have 2 tag thm ugh your so weird.

* * *

Isabella found that even in the morning,** Jenny Brown** was capable of—11:11! I wish that all of the children in all the world would have a happy 4th of July!

Her brother, **Django Brown**, addressed the obvious—**Jenny**, America's the only place where we celebrate the 4th of July.

**Jenny Brown**, unrepressable—I know, I still want everyone to have a happy 4th of July!

**Django Brown**—. . . .

Which **Candace Flynn** resounded loud and clear—. . . . .

* * *

Isabelle was greatly perplexed as to why **Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz** was on her newsfeed with—Ugh, it's finally the Fourth of July and kids are shooting off fireworks at the break of dawn! Why.—Not something to want to wake up to.

It was PAST the break of dawn, but **Ferb Fletcher** ignored that and pointed out what a good teenage kid he was—At least I shoot off fireworks in the evening.

"Ooooh, Vanessa's dad! Why's he my Facebook friend?" Isabella said to herself in a dawned voice as she peeked out the window at the nice July morning. She waved to Ferb at his laptop in his living room's window. She received a message then from Irving Grindbore, but didn't open it, too interested in _this_ particular convo. She checked **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**'s response—You're shooting off fireworks? UGH, kids these days.

Isabella felt pleased for Ferb's sake when **Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz** said—He's just trying to have a little fun, Dad.

**Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz** was on the opposite side of the spectrum from Isabella—Don't be encouraging him, **Vanessa**!

Isabella felt very pleased with **Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz** for doing that—Just defending him from you, Dad.

Then **Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz** let loose a bombshell—Why, do you like him?

_Candace Flynn, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, and Phineas Flynn like this._

Isabella hurriedly searched outside the window for a facial expression exchange from Ferb, ignoring another message from Irving. All she saw was a faint blush and a thumb's up for her eyes to see. She gave him one as well, and **Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz** was horrified—Hey, what's with all these kids liking this? Go away! SHOO!

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**, however, to Isabella's indignation, friend-zoned herself—If I didn't like him, I wouldn't be friends with him, now would I, Dad?

**Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz** replied with Isabella's sentiments emoji-fied—ಠ_ಠ

* * *

**Ferb** **Fletcher** recovered from this soon after. Isabella found him on Facebook while she was listening to Phineas ramble on and on about fireworks and inquire about the whereabouts of Perry—Yet another Fourth of July. I wonder what weird thing shall happen this year.

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher and Tiana Webber like this._

"What does he mean by that?" Isabella asked Phineas, ignoring an Irving message, just as **Tiana Webber** did the same—What do you mean by that?—electronically, of course.

"Ferb can explain," Phineas said. He pointed to the phone, where **Ferb** **Fletcher** enlightened all—Every Fourth of July I have celebrated has always been a bit weird.

_Tiana Webber likes this._

And **Stacy Hirano** made known to all her thoughts concerning this exciting ominous event—FASCINATING.

* * *

**Irving** **Grindbore** posted on **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**'s wall—**Isabella**? You're not replying to the seventeen messages I sent you! Are you there?

* * *

**Candace** **Flynn**, after sniffing around her brothers' work that holiday, slithered to her room to tell all—Off of work today! *does dance*

_Jeremy Johnson likes this._

* * *

Increasing thunderclouds loomed over the Tri-State area on what was earlier a fair July morning. It worried many, because the Johnson house was flat and one-story, and thus their back- and front-yard proved to be the venue. **Jeremy Johnson** gave the party's guests a general service announcement—Getting ready for the party and it's looking like it might rain. Eugh.

Isabella had left Phineas and Ferb's and was busy supervising the stitching of their American Flag for their Sewing Like Betsy Ross patches. "Those clouds look ominous, chief," a worried little Gretchen commented.

Isabella showed Gretchen **Candace** **Flynn**'s comment, letting her know her thoughts—I'm sure it'll pass.

**Coltrane** **Laker** added on Facebook—Yeah, it can't rain. We've got fireworks to watch!

_Suzy Johnson and Ferb Fletcher like this._

"No amount of likes can change the weather, chief," wise little Gretchen said forebodingly before taking up a needle again.

* * *

**Isabella** **Garcia-Shapiro**, before putting a leash on Pinky to take him to the Johnsons' party, posted—The Fireside Girls and I have finished making our American flag and it is currently flying in my front yard.

_Phineas Flynn, Gretchen Roberts, Vivian Garcia-Shapiro and seven others like this._

* * *

**Jeremy** **Johnson**, the host, said—Yay! People are showing up. If only the clouds will go away. . . .

Isabella wisely put on her pink raincoat, ignored Irving's persistent messaging, and read **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s—I'm sure that they'll go away soon, **Jeremy**.

To which **Hawkeye** **Johnson**, their lovely hostess, replied—We all hope so, **Linda**.

* * *

**Candace** **Flynn** posted on **Jenny Brown**'s wall from the Johnsons'—Promise me it won't rain.

**Jenny Brown** wasn't there yet, or else her words would've been said in person—Well, the flowers and birds need the water. . . .

**Candace** **Flynn** wanted reassurance—PROMISE ME.

**Jenny** **Brown** was uncertain but willing to be helpful—All right, it won't rain?

* * *

The entire party was assembled outside when it began to drop buckets. They all shoved under the Johnson roof, a squishy party. In **Jeremy** **Johnson**'s words—Everyone arrives and then boom: it rains.

* * *

**Stacy** **Hirano** posted on **Jenny** **Brown**'s wall—YOU SIT ON A THRONE OF LIES.

**Jenny** **Brown**, not able to control the weather, was helpless—What?

* * *

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** sat between a bunch of Fireside Girls and _Phineas_. Pinky ate up black bean salad from her paper plate and she held a glass of lemonade; her other hand was occupied in typing—My flag at home is getting wet. . .

To which sweet, sweet **Phineas Flynn** comforted _ever_ so sweetly—Sorry to hear about that, **Isabella**.

**Candace** **Flynn**, on the other side of the room by Stacy and Jeremy, indignantly pointed out—Why don't you two just talk to each other? You're right next to each other.

Isabella blushed.

* * *

Later on in that party, the kids crowded around the window, and saw no predictable end in sight. **Coltrane Laker** checked the upcoming weather updates and posted—is glad that **Jeremy**'s house has wifi so we can check up on the weather.

**Jeremy** **Johnson** was also on top of the weather checking business—I looked it up and it's supposed to get better.

* * *

The evening was finished after the rain let up (thank goodness) and the entire party piled out to watch Phineas and Ferb's ecstatic firework show. Isabella, thrilled by the whole thing, told Ferb it was amazing, and dared to kiss Phineas on the cheek in fervent acclaim. Then she'd run into the safety of her Fireside Girl troop to hide her red blush and managed to get home without running into Phineas again. In pajamas and flopping, cross-legged, on her bed, she read **Ferb** **Fletcher**'s note—Well, at long last the rain let up and I thought that Phin and I did a good job with those fireworks!

**Candace** **Flynn** commented—I still can't believe Mom let you two get away with that.

**Ferb** **Fletcher** pointed out the obvious for once—I can't believe how bitter you're getting about this.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** ignored the one-hundred-twenty-four new messages from Irving that he'd left her while she fiercely typed—Haven't you lived **Candace** for almost ten years, **Ferb**?—then she ignored Irving some more.

**Ferb** **Fletcher** said—You'd think that I would be used to her being like that by now.

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher likes this._

* * *

**Candace Flynn** posted on **Jeremy Johnson**'s wall—Despite the rain, I thought things went rather well. Great party!

_Jeremy Johnson likes this._

* * *

The last late night post of that 4th of July was surprisingly from **Lawrence Fletcher**, Ferb's dad—Happy 4th of July, everyone! I hope you've enjoyed your couple hundred years without our rule!

His stepdaughter, **Candace** **Flynn**, commented—I like that we're free and all . . . . . but I still want a British accent.

Isabella could see Ferb by his laptop in his living room from her moonlit window. She sat there petting Pinky and brushing her hair and also finishing up a Facebook session. She waved at him and **Ferb** **Fletcher**, mostly for Isabella's amusement, wrote an instigation—Jealous, sister?

**Candace** **Flynn**'s reply made Isabella laugh—No!

**Ferb** **Fletcher** was in a bantering mood—Yes, yes you are.

Apparently, so was **Candace Flynn**—Fine, a little, but that's it!

**Ferb Fletcher**'s comeback?—You're jealous. :)

Whoa, he went with an emoticon! But **Candace Flynn** kept her cool, and even relented a little—Well, maybe a little. Okay, a lot.

**Ferb Fletcher** took that and went the humorous route—I like YOUR accent. It's sophisticated.

**Candace Flynn** was _not _amused—I haven't an accent, **Ferb**. Now shut up and go to sleep.

**Ferb Fletcher** gladly took the mutual surrender—All right. Night, **Candace**.—and he waved to Isabella before shutting the shade.

**Candace Flynn** finished with—Night, **Ferb**. :)

And Isabella, ignoring Irving's persistent messages, turned off Facebook, and went to sleep as well, Pinky snoring soundly at the foot of her bed.

* * *

**Irving** **Grindbore** posted on **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**'s wall—**Isabella**? You there?

* * *

**There you go, guys! The movie quotes from chapter 3 were: Fowler from Chicken Run, Charlotte from the Princess and the Frog, Effie Trinket from THE HUNGER GAMES, and Dory from Finding Nemo! Congrats to all those who called the quotes! I hope you liked this chapter, and please, let me know what you thought of it!**


	5. Irving, the Stowaway

_**Soli Deo gloria**_

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb or any of the movies mentioned here or Facebook. **

* * *

Irving Grindbore wore orange glasses because he spent time staring at bright white screens and tiny fonts and the text of books. As at the moment, he was locked in his room in complete darkness, hypnotized by 'Facebook'. It legally allowed him to keep an eye on Phineas and Ferb at any time of day _and _without having to leave his house to step into the cruel real world. "_Wow_, I love the Internet!" said Irving to himself. "Let's check Phineas's wall. . ."

He found that **Phineas Flynn** had just posted—Cool! I just used this quiz thing and it says that if I were an Avenger, I'd be Captain America!

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro likes this._

"Oh my gosh, he is _so right_," Irving said admiringly. He frowned upon seeing Buford van Stomm say—i;d be th hulk—"That spelling is _atrocious_," Irving muttered to himself.

**Baljeet Tjinder**, for once keeping the peace, didn't comment on it—This is strange and oddly fitting.

**Buford van Stomm** was suspicious and threatening, as usual—menning?

**Baljeet Tjinder** wisely put forth—Oops. Forget I said anything.

"Good move, Baljeet," Irving said, though no Baljeet was there to hear him.

* * *

Linda Flynn-Fletcher _added an event to her timeline_: Love Handel concert where I first kissed Lawrence!

_Vivian Garcia-Shapiro likes this._

"Awww! PnF familial romance!" squealed Irving, at seven in the morning. First thing out of bed and he went on Facebook. Yes, yes he did.

* * *

**Charlene Doofenshmirtz** likes _Cooking_, _Platypuses_ and two other pages.

"Oh, Vanessa's mom is Internet-active!" said Irving gleefully.

* * *

Irving's next greatest discovery on Facebook that morning was that which **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** copied and pasted onto her own wall—LMS: I'll post on yur wall! [] Bestie Friend! [] someone I know [] Friend! [] Buddie! [] Relative! [] Crush! [] Awesome person! [] Practically brother! [] Ma sister!

_Gretchen Roberts, Milly Jones, Ferb Fletcher, and Phineas Flynn like this._

"Oh my gosh Phineas liked it!" Irving went on to hyperventilate as he read **Candace Flynn**'s words—You copied and pasted this, right?

He calmed down into a paper bag and read **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**'s response out of the corner of his glasses—Of course. It is against the Fireside Girl rulebook to use lazy typing. That's why **Buford** will never be a Fireside Girl. :/

_Baljeet Tjinder likes this._

Irving calmed his breathing and clearing his throat, said, "That almost provoked my asthma!"

* * *

Next he saw a status update from **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**, the father of Vanessa, Ferb's TOTAL crush—**Perry the Platypus** still won't accept my friend request! How rude.

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** replied—Give it up, Dad.

"Ooh, Flynn-Fletcher in-law-inter-family argument!" said Irving as he ate his breakfast of oatmeal and prunes.

**Norm Doofenshmirtz**, someone Irving didn't know, said—You can be friends with me, Dad!

Gasp! "VANESSA HAS A BROTHER!?" said a startled Irving. But **Heinz Doofenshmirtz** proved that revelation a false one—I'm not your father! Hey, how are you even able to comment on this with you not being my friend?

Oh, so his own 'son' wasn't his friend? "It's like a soap opera, or a bad fanfic," said Irving, dazed as he continuing eating and reading **Norm Doofenshmirtz**'s response—It showed up on my newsfeed as a conversation that my sister **Vanessa** commented on. **Vanessa** friended me!

"But he has the same last name and claims Vanessa as his sister!" Irving then Facebook-stalked Norm and gasped: "FERB'S GOING TO HAVE A ROBOT BROTHER-IN-LAW!"

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** pretty much read Irving's for-his-ears-only questions—Why is your last name Doofenshmirtz? You're not my son OR a Doofenshmirtz!

**Norm Doofenshmirtz** was unmoved—Friend me! Come on, Dad!

That was the straw that broke **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**'s back—Give me the laptop. C'MON!

"What family drama!" Irving, amazed, said, after reading **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s sighing comment—And this is why people think I'm weird. You're not my brother, **Norm**.

* * *

Next he saw that **Candace Flynn** posted—What's up with all these weird ads along the side of my screen? NO, I am not interested in liking a blog about getting young kids to exercise!

"Wow, that _is _weird!" agreed Irving. He saw **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** express humor—Now you just sound heartless, **Candace**. :)

**Candace Flynn** was unmoved—I don't care. They freak me out!

* * *

**Irving Grindbore** _updated his cover photo._

"Lucky I found that nice photo from early this summer in the hidden files of my computer uploads," said Irving to himself. He felt quite pleased with the change himself.

His satisfaction was slightly marred by **Phineas Flynn**—Where'd you get this picture of us at our grandparents' cabin?

**Irving Grindbore **replied vaguely—Your car has a big trunk.

"That's all I'll tell him," Irving said affirmingly to himself. He was unflinching, even with **Ferb Fletcher**'s—0.o

* * *

Irving saw the circulating post again as **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** posted on **Gretchen Roberts**'s wall: [X] Bestie Friend! [X] someone I know [X] Friend! [X] Buddie! [] Relative! [] Crush! [X] Awesome person! [] Practically brother! [X] Ma sister!

_Gretchen Roberts like this._

"Awwww; how sweet!" said Irving.

* * *

Next he saw that **Candace Flynn** posted on **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s wall: Got the days off, Mom. Yay. Mountains.

Astonished and excited, **Irving Grindbore** commented, elated and knowing EXACTLY what Candace was implying—*Gasp* You're going to Camp **Phineas** and **Ferb**?!

**Candace Flynn**'s assertion of—You're not invited.—did little to deter him from out-right squeeing.

"Be quiet in there!" shouted an annoyed elder brother Albert.

Irving ignored him and squealed into his hands.

* * *

Irving was all ready and smiling the morning of when he read **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s—Heading out camping today over at my parents' house. Should be fun!

_Vivian Garcia-Shapiro and Tiana Webber like this._

**Tiana Webber** ("Phineas and Ferb's maternal aunt," whispered Irving to himself, like other nerds would whisper gamer codes and character weaknesses and strength ratings) said cheerfully—Have a good time with Mom and Dad!

**Lawrence Fletcher** ("Phineas's stepfather and Ferb's biological father, of Britain," said Irving, obsessively) updated all the situation—We can start going once **Candace** wakes up.

"Oooh. That's why we haven't left yet," Irving said, dawned-on. **Phineas Flynn** added—She's a heavy sleeper.

**Stacy Hirano** ("Always one for a humorous point of view—and morbid movie quotations," Irving murmured thoughtfully to himself) said—Not in death, but just in sleep.

**Candace Flynn** was obviously awakened, as she commented—I'm up now. ಠ_ಠ

"Excellent!" said an excited Irving.

* * *

The roadtrip to the mountains was long, so **Irving Grindbore** posted on **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**'s wall: **Isabella**, I'm on chat!

* * *

They finally arrived at the Flynns' and Irving, after hiding himself in an old abandoned outhouse on the property, went on Facebook. Clearly** Candace Flynn** had located the WiFi—Arrived at Grandpa and Grandma's. Hopefully it should be fun.

_Stacy Hirano, Irving Grindbore, and Jenny Brown like this._

**Jenny Brown**, a loose-y-goose-y friend of Candace's, commented on her status—You're in the mountains? That's a good place to be alone with nature and get away from your hectic life.

"As if! She's the sister of Phineas and Ferb!" said Irving, rearranging himself around the toilet and getting a DING! from **Candace Flynn**'s comment—Okay, **Jenny**. :/

**Jeremy Johnson** ("Her ever the lovely boyfriend," said Irving with a fervent shipping heart) commented—Hope you have a good time with your family, **Candace**. Be missing you!

**Candace Flynn** became enraptured by such romance—Oh, **Jeremy**!

**Suzy Johnson** ("Jeremy's evil little sister!" gasped Irving, caught up in the drama) added a plot twist—I hope nature gobbles you up and has the guts to not throw you up, **Candace**!

**Phineas Flynn** had found the WiFi as well—. . .

**Ferb Fletcher**, likewise—. . .

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** was on Facebook—. . .

**Baljeet Tjinder** as well—. . .

**Jenny Brown** was not even so foolish as to overlook this, either—. . .

**Coltrane** **Laker** was the only who would could find words (er, _a _word)—What?

**Buford van Stomm** ("The gang's all here!" Irving said, excited that despite Phineas and Ferb (and himself) being away from Danville, they could still have such times!) pointed out the obvious—SHE'S eVil i tel u! EVILLLLLL

**Jeremy** **Johnson** was a shocked older brother—**Suzy**?

**Suzy Johnson** played the innocent ("Of course," muttered Irving)—I WANNA WATCH DUCKY MOMO. NOW!

* * *

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** posted on **Milly Jones**'s wall: [X] Bestie Friend! [X] someone I know [X] Friend! [X] Buddie! [] Relative! [] Crush! [X] Awesome person! [] Practically brother! [X] Ma sister!

"Awwww," said Irving to himself.

* * *

Sleeping conditions in the outhouse were less than ideal, but Irving was too excited after the day he'd had to complain. He settled down in his dragon jammies and read** Jenny Brown**'s nightly status—It is now 11:11. I wish for all of the peoples of the earth to enjoy nature and not pollute it. At all.

"Sounds inspired by this trip," Irving mused happily as **Django Brown** wrote on her status—Who invented this 11:11 wish thing anyway?

**Jenny Brown** was at least honest—or just naive—I haven't a clue. Someone very wise.

**Candace Flynn** was still up—You're weird, **Jenny**.

**Jenny Brown** was just plain naive—Thank you for your kind compliment, **Candace**.

"Take THAT, Candace," Irving said.** Candace Flynn**: I was being sarcastic.

**Jenny Brown** proved herself remaining haughtily (voluntarily) ignorant ("My goodness!" said Irving, who embraced learning things everyday)—I know not of this 'sarcastic' thing you speak of.

* * *

That next day, Irving yawned, worked out the crick in his neck, and looked at Facebook: he saw that Ferb's crush's father, **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**, was online—LMS: I'll post on yur wall! [] Bestie Friend! [] someone I know [] Friend! [] Buddie! [] Relative! [] Crush! [] Awesome person! [] Practically brother! [] Ma sister!

_Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein, Norm Doofenshmirtz and Charlene Doofenshmirtz like this._

"Ohhh! Family drama!" Irving exclaimed. (He felt quite the knowledgeable fan about the Doofenshmirtzes now, since they were related to Ferb, and so there he Facebook-stalked them all.) He excitedly read **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s palpable annoyance—Really, Dad?

Then **Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein** ("Heinz's arch-nemesis!" whispered Irving excitedly to himself) chortled—Oh, ho ho! How adorable, **Heinz**!

* * *

**Lawrence Fletcher** likes _Tea_, _England_, and twenty other pages.

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** commented ("Her humor shines through even on the Internet," said a blissfully happy shipper)—Is everything you like British?

**Lawrence Fletcher** came back with the snap of his son—Not everything. ;)

"How adorable!" Irving said happily.

* * *

Next was found **Francis Monogram**'s status update (Irving didn't question how he became friends with him)—**Heinz Doofenshmirtz**, have you really been trying to communicate with **Perry the Platypus** outside of work?

"PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" gasped Irving even as **Heinz Doofenshmirtz** stoically challenged with—Yes, I have. Got a problem with that?

**Francis Monogram**'s response was indignant—You're supposed to have a strictly professional relationship!

"PROFESSIONAL?!" gasped Irving even as **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** kept the facts straight—Yeah, you wish. They're practically not even frenemies anymore.

"FRENEMIES!" gasped Irving even as **Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein** LOLed—Oh, ho ho ho, **Heinz**! You don't even have a nemesis anymore! Oh, you make me laugh with pity!

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** barked—Hey, lay off, **Alyose**!

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

"PERRY THE PLATYPUS 'LIKES' THIS?!" gasped Irving as** Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein** angrily informed—That's **Rodney** to you, **Heinz**!

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz**'s comment was quick and happy—Hey, **Perry the Platypus** just added me as a friend! Take that, **Aloyse**!

"PERRY THE PLATYPUS IS FRIENDS WITH HIS FRENEMY?!" gasped Irving, hyperventilating as **Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein **interjected severely with—It's **Rodney**!

**Norm Doofenshmirtz** ignored the rest of the conversation when he said—Add me as a friend, Dad!

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** was apparently in an amiable mood—FINE.

The conversation ended and Irving spent several minutes hyperventilating.

* * *

**Phineas Flynn** posted on **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**'s wall: Hey, **Isabella**, since when is **Perry the Platypus** friends with someone called Heinz Doofenshmirtz?

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** was at a loss—I . . . . I don't know.

"I KNOW I KNOW!" shrieked Irving. But before he could type a single word,** Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s comment popped up—He's **Charlene Doofenshmirtz**'s, my cooking partner at cooking class, ex-husband.

**Phineas Flynn** commented—Oh, now I remember!—and Irving had _some _tact: he didn't reiterate what Phineas's mother said. Instead, he sighed, signed off of Facebook, and said, "Wowwww, SO much drama!"

* * *

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** posted on **Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein**'s wall: [] Bestie Friend! [X] someone I know [] Friend! [] Buddie! [] Relative! [] Crush! [] Awesome person! [] Practically brother! [] Ma sister!

_Vanessa Doofenshmirtz likes this._

* * *

**Johnny Black** posted on **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s wall: Hey, babe, is yur car fixed yet?

"GASP! Ferb's arch-nemesis!" Irving dramatically gasped. He just caught up on Facebook after a fun-filled day at the camp and was amazed at what he came to find. He read **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s comment—Still in the shop. Unfortunately.

**Johnny Black** was an impatient dumby-face—Wish it'd hurry up.

"Ferb's in a love triangle!" Irving mused, amazed, to himself.

* * *

**Irving Grindbore** then realized something when he found _nothing _else in his newsfeed—Hey, everybody but my mom and **Albert** have blocked me!

**Albert Grindbore**, aka annoying older brother who probably didn't even notice his younger bro gone from their house, said—I wonder why . . .

**Irving Grindbore** gritted his teeth—Shut it, **Albert**. My Timeline does not need your rude remarks.

**Albert Grindbore**'s ingratiating 'brilliant' comeback—Someone's annoyed because he's the most annoying person ever.

**Irving Grindbore** could do nothing but say—**Albert** . . . .—Then he determined he'd somehow unblock himself from everyone's Facebooks. And with a little hacking and Internet-know-how, he was pretty sure he did. He refreshed his page and hoped to see someone else's status. . .

* * *

**Jeremy Johnson** added _Mr. Slushy Dawg_ to his work.

Irving was relieved. "I am SO unblocked!" he said, fist-pumping as hard as he could in the cramped outhouse. Then realizing he sat on an unused toilet, he saw the irony of his words.

* * *

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** posted on **Charlene Doofenshmirtz**'s wall: [] Bestie Friend! [X] someone I know [] Friend! [] Buddie! [X] Relative! [] Crush! [] Awesome person! [] Practically brother! [] Ma sister!

**Charlene Doofenshmirtz** ("His ex-wife," whispered Irving to no one)—Wow, thanks, **Heinz**.

* * *

**Phineas Flynn** updated the world to what they covered at Campus Phineas and Ferb—Nothing like getting up at five o'clock to go fishing! Dad and Grandpa and **Ferb **and I went out on Grandpa's old dinghy. It no longer looks like a pirate ship, BUT, I think we did swell. Nothing like eating ham sandwiches with getting no bites from fish for five hours!

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro and Tiana Webber like this._

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** commented, to Irving's suppressed internal delight—Glad you're having fun, **Phineas**!

**Ferb Fletcher**'s delightful comeback—You forgot my shining moment.

**Phineas Flynn** added, to Irving's delight—Oh, sorry! **Ferb **caught a huge catfish at the end that's SEVENTEEN POUNDS.

"I took a picture of that!" said Irving.

**Ferb Fletcher** continued—The most amusing part of the venture was that **Candace** held it up for a picture and ended up falling onto the beach, getting all sandy. I think she swallowed a shell. Note to self: even if Mum asks for a picture pose, do. Not. Give. In. When holding a fish.

"I took a picture of that, too," Irving said thoughtfully.

**Blonde-Haired Beckham Fletcher** ("A jealous Fletcher cousin," mused Irving, who felt smugly luckier about being on this trip when this cousin wasn't) said—i'm sure that piece of advice will someday come in handy, **Ferb**.

**Ferb Fletcher**'s now infamous comeback was to be expected—Your sarcasm is not lost, **Beckham**.

* * *

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher**_ added_ 5 _pictures to the album _Holiday at the grandparents.

_Tiana Webber, Winifred Fletcher and three others like this._

"They're almost as good as mine!" Irving decided excitedly, even as **Winifred Fletcher** observed—That is a large fish, **Ferb**.

**Ferb Fletcher** replied (Irving could practically _hear _his British accent)—Thank you, Grandmum.

**Jenny Brown** saw the photos as well—Oh, **Candace**. You're blending with nature!

Jenny had commented on the photo posted of Candace falling onto the sand; **Stacy Hirano** only saw the post of the 5 photos altogether, so she inquired as to—What happened?

**Candace Flynn** was all revelation—I fell on my butt in the sand and now I'm going inside where all of the carpets are soft and there's WiFi.

Irving, feeling slightly envious of her option of soft carpets, contented himself with once again looking through the 5 newly posted photos.

* * *

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** posted on **Ferb Fletcher**'s wall: [X] Bestie Friend! [X] someone I know [X] Friend! [X] Buddie! [] Relative! [] Crush! [X] Awesome person! [X] Practically brother! [] Ma sister!

**Ferb Fletcher** was pleased with this response—I can live with that.

_Phineas Flynn likes this._

So did Irving.

* * *

**Ferb Fletcher** posted a photo.

_Tiana Webber, Buford van Stomm and six others like this._

"LOOK AT THAT FISH!" exclaimed Irving, beyond giddy.

**Ferb Fletcher** added a caption to add context—Here's **Phineas **and I frying the sucker up.

Indeed, the fish was gutted, nice and clean and fresh from rich red blood, and bubbling nicely in a coat of panko, egg, and flour on a bed of gently gurgling golden oil.

**Jeremy Johnson** commented—Nice fish, guys!

* * *

**Candace Flynn** next let the world know her thoughts and they were translated much into the complaining of your average teenage girl on Facebook—I don't know what I'd do up here if Grandpa and Grandma didn't have WiFi. Thank goodness they finally got the Internet. Last few trips up here I nearly became bored to death.

**Stacy Hirano**, the ever-oh-so-inquisitive, wondered aloud—Did you die?

**Candace Flynn** was in the know-how on this particular quote and followed up with—Yes, but I lived.

"Literal friendly banter!" Irving sighed. (He was such a fan-boy.)

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher **was, needless to say, relieved—Thank goodness.

* * *

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** (Ferb's crush's father) posted on **Norm Doofenshmirtz **(Ferb's crush's not-brother)'s wall: [] Bestie Friend! [X] someone I know [] Friend! [X] Buddie! [] Relative! [] Crush! [] Awesome person! [] Practically brother! [] Ma sister!

**Norm Doofenshmirtz **pointed out the error—Aren't you going to be putting me down as a relative, Dad?

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz **wasn't in the mood to be played with—No, and why do you even have a Facebook? Seriously!

* * *

**Norm Doofenshmirtz** has listened _Heinz Doofenshmirtz_ as his dad, _Vanessa Doofenshmirtz_ as his sister and _Charlene Doofenshmirtz_ as his mom.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** ("Is yelling," whispered Irving, a little scared, to himself)—I am not your father, **Norm**!

**Charlene Doofenshmirtz** was on the whole other side of the spectrum concerning Norm —Aww, your robot is so sweet, **Heinz**.

"I like her," Irving decided.

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** wasn't so supportive—Don't encourage him, Mom.

"Which 'him?'" wondered aloud Irving to himself.

* * *

**Phineas Flynn** relayed to the world (and to Irving, who'd slept in) that there were—Waffles for breakfast before we head out!

**Candace Flynn** provided sisterly advice—Eat them quick before **Ferb** eats them all.

Irving felt hungry, and snuck a couple of waffles soon enough out of Grandma and Grandpa Flynn's cabin; he _almost _got sighted by Candace, but he escaped like whiplash. He hungrily tucked away the waffles as he read **Ferb Fletcher**'s—Please. I can't eat THAT fast.

* * *

It was nice having WiFi in the car. The trunk's view of the other passengers was limiting. Irving was able to read **Phineas Flynn**'s latest—Heading out! Can't wait to come back home to Danville!

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro likes this._

**Buford van Stomm**, as usual—Cn som1 sned me a Biritsh cow?

**Baljeet Tjinder** questioned—They have British cows in Farmville now? What's a British cow?

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** said—I have absolutely no idea.—which Irving totally agreed with.

* * *

Meanwhile, that evening . . . **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** posted on **Phineas Flynn**'s wall: [X] Bestie Friend! [X] someone I know [X] Friend! [X] Buddie! [] Relative! [] Crush! [X] Awesome person! [X] Practically brother! [] Ma sister!

**Adyson Sweetwater** was adamantly against this—No, no NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS INACCURATE. POST IT CORRECTLY, **Isabella**!

**Gretchen Roberts** was aghast—Can she do that?

**Milly Jones **was in agreement—She HAS to!

**Irving Grindbore**, safe in his room and glad to be living in humane, not-stinky living conditions, typed quickly—**ISABELLA** YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM. IF YOU DID I'D BE SO HAPPY. PLEASE PLEASE OH PLEASE I BEG OF YOU.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** was no pushover—I'm not!

**Ginger Hirano** was encouraging—Do it!

**Baljeet Tjinder** was advice-giving—**Isabella**, it will be good to get off of your chest.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** was insistent—I can't!

**Buford van Stomm** was . . . entertained—i'ma get sme popcorn. this shud be gud.

**Phineas Flynn**'s response?—Oh my gosh! I came home and all of this is on my wall!

**Stacy Hirano** was in a sing-y mood—Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings. The world for once, in perfect harmony, with all its living things.

**Ginger Hirano** was correcting—No, **Stacy**! It's the exact opposite! **Isabella** won't tell him!

**Phineas Flynn** . . . was ignorant—Tell me what?

_Baljeet Tjinder and Ferb Fletcher like this._

Irving grew anxiety-ridden before he calmed down and scrolled through Facebook some more, trying _very _hard to NOT get emotionally involved._  
_

* * *

Later, after Jenny's usual 11:11 wish,** Irving Grindbore** cheerfully _added _17 _pictures to the album_ Camp Phineas and Ferb!

**Phineas Flynn **commented (SQUEEEEE on Irving's part)—Hey, that's **Ferb**'s fish.

**Candace Flynn** was speechless—. . . .—("A good response!" thought Irving to himself.)

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** said—I thought **Irving** wasn't invited.

Irving's joy over posting PnF pictures faded as he realized what he'd done. "Oops."

**Candace Flynn** continued making him blush—. . . He wasn't.

**Ferb Fletcher** could only finish with—WHAT

. . . Irving logged out of Facebook.

* * *

**I like the ending. :) The quotes from last chapter are from Pirates of the Caribbean: World's End, Sleeping Beauty, Bolt, Tangled, Lilo &amp; Stitch and Elf. Congrats to all who got the quotes and THANK YOU for reading. I'm really tired, so I'm going to sleep now. BYES!**


	6. Sun Tan Lotion, Of Course

_**Soli Deo gloria**_

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb. Lookie, a new chapter! :)**

* * *

**Candace Flynn** is at** Googleplex Mall**.

Candace smiled. Good. She'd logged into Danville's best resident mall, and she was going shopping! She smiled, put her cellphone away, and embarked on her mission: to find a bathing suit.

* * *

**Candace** **Flynn**, waiting in line for the dressing rooms in Beach Girl, a beach/girly store, found time to post—Getting a new bathing suit for our big group outing to Swim-X Waterpark! Red or green?—_feeling excited._

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Tiana Webber, and 7 others like this._

Candace heard her phone PING! via** Stacy Hirano** saying—It's pink!

**Candace Flynn** looked over the bathing suit hangers hanging on her arm like a beam—Um, like /none/ of my options are pink . . . oh. Your movie quote thing.

Candace was just trying on her green one behind the safe doors of the dressing room when she saw **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** with—Try green, **Candace**! It'd go so well with your orange hair!

_Stacy Hirano and Jenny Brown like this._

Candace, smiling, pleased, posed in the mirror. "You know, she's _so_ right," Candace said. She was pleased; she'd just found her summer bathing suit.

* * *

Candace came home and checked into the Flynn-Fletcher WiFi to see that Mom, AKA, **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**, had been errand-running—Got a lot of suntan lotion for our day out at Swim-X Waterpark!

_Vivian Garcia-Shapiro and Tiana Webber like this._

_Andddddd _**Vivian Garcia-Shapiro** won for the year's longest comment—Are you sure you don't want me to bring any at all, **Linda**? I have so much, for I always stock up in the summer. Isa's complexion is so sensitive and can get sooooo sunburnt and it's almost as hard to keep her skin nice as it is to keep her hair from getting frizzy; it's like it eats up humidity! Oh, summer is not very good to my Isa, besides the time she gets to hang out with her friends, especially **Phineas** and **Ferb**! They're such good boys; they're good influence on Isa, which is good, because she just spends sooooo much time with them, especially **Phineas**; methinks she still likes the boy! Remember one summer when you had **Candace** and the boys in the wading pool with Isa, how **Candace** splashed Isa and **Phineas**, noble knight, protected her? Oh, such good times! :)

_Ferb Fletcher and Ginger Hirano like this._

Candace laughed; of _course_ they did. She stuck her head in the boys' room to find Ferb alone; she held up the post: "Wowwww," she said.

"Indeed," said Ferb, even as **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** added—Um, that's enough, PLEASE, Mom.

**Katie Miller** was as amused as C and F—The amount of tagging /IS/ staggering.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** was _not _amused—Not THAT, **Katie**.

**Phineas Flynn** was oblivious—Wow, I forgot all about that! Good times.

"Wowwww," Ferb said.

"Indeed," said Candace, smirking.

* * *

**Buford van Stomm** likes_ Swim-X Waterpark_, _Whirlpools_, and _Water Roller Coasters_.

**Buford van Stomm** added—baljet u and i are gunna have fun at the wirlpools

Candace groaned. She felt her brain cells dying.

**Baljeet Tjinder**'s counter was quick—I will make a point of avoiding them as much in my power as I can.

**Buford van Stomm** was . . . adamant—WERE GOIN IN THE WIRLPOOLS!

Candace wondered for how more years** Baljeet Tjinder** would give in like he did now—Well, since you're asking so politely, /of course/. . . :X

* * *

**Ferb Fletcher** has created the event_ Day Out to Swim-X Waterpark_

_Phineas Flynn, Jeremy Johnson, Coltrane Laker, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, and 19 others like this._

Candace shrieked from happiness and joined her family to eat dinner—or, in truth, to talk about going to Swim-X Waterpark while in the pretense of going to eat dinner.

* * *

**Django Brown**, **Adyson Sweetwater**, and 39 others are going

Candace was one of the 39 others. She checked the stats:

39 going — 4 maybe — 62 invited

Excellent.

"This is going to be so GREAT!" she shrieked.

From outside the bathroom where she was in a bathrobe, hair towel, and slippers, she heard, "Some of us are trying to sleep, Candace."

Oh, Ferb! But it _was _past 11.

So Candace quieted.

* * *

**Monty Monogram** is going.

_Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus like this._

Between past 11 last night and 8 this morning (when Candace instantly was on Facebook like it was a newspaper) that had happened. And this: **Vanessa** **Doofenshmirtz**—Are you ready for some scary rides, **Monty**? I'm not spending the entire time in a wading pool.

"Wait, she's bantering like they're flirting. Wait. They _ARE_ FLIRTING," Candace gasped, as** Monty Monogram** contributed to the dialogue—You can squeeze my hand at the scary parts.

**Ferb Fletcher** then added—I do not believe that will be necessary of you, **Monty**.

_Phineas Flynn, Candace Flynn, and Isabella Garcia-Shapiro like this._

"Ferb, I would TOTALLY high-five you if we didn't have a bedroom wall between us," Candace yelled.

Through the wall, she heard a muffled, "Your heartiest whoops are felt, Candace."

**Monty Monogram** made Candace laugh from his sheer ignorance—And why not, **Ferb**?

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s response just made Candace disappointed in her—Yeah, why not, **Ferb**?

"Oh, COME ON," Candace said to her phone.

* * *

**Irving Grindbore** is going.

Oh, no—Candace _groaned_. Not **_Irving Grindbore_** with his—I GOT INVITED THIS YEAR I'M SO EXCITED TO GO THIS IS SO EXCITING I CANNOT WAIT.

Mom, AKA **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**, had more patience—It will certainly be nice to see you there, **Irving**.

**Irving Grindbore**'s enthusiasm grew as Candace's decreased—YOU TOO, MRS. FLYNN-FLETCHER.

* * *

**Phineas Flynn** updated the world after a kid-mom meeting about what they needed for tomorrow—Packing plenty of sunscreen for Swim-X Waterpark tomorrow!

_Ferb Fletcher, Irving Grindbore, Baljeet Tjinder, and 5 others like this._

**Ferb Fletcher** joked, to his sister's NOT-amusement—We know how **Candace** peels in the sun otherwise.

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher and Tiana Webber like this._

MOM. AUNT TIANA. "Really?" **Candace Flynn** said that aloud, and then on Facebook said in explanation—I burned /ONE/ time, **Ferb**. ONE TIME.

**Ferb Fletcher** wasn't done—The photograph makes /excellent/ blackmail material.

**Candace Flynn** was alarmed and almost broke her cellphone from the fury of her typing—YOU WOULDN'T.

**Buford van Stomm** _WASN'T HELPING_—he wood

**Phineas Flynn** added his two cents from in the living room—He WOULD . . . tread carefully, **Ferb**. . .

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, Linda Flynn-Fletcher, and Baljeet Tjinder like this._

"Tread carefully, _Ferb_," Candace repeated warningly. Of course, to the screen of her cellphone.

* * *

Morning of, **Candace Flynn** groaned onto the Internet—It's five-thirty in the morning. Why is this even necessary, since the waterpark doesn't open until ten? *waddles off to bed*

She'd just face-planted her bed when** Stacy Hirano** made her cellphone PING!—RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPING BEAUTY!

**Candace Flynn** replied with a quick, simple—Nope *retreats*

**Ferb Fletcher** gave alert to his sister, to add to the immediate footsteps down the hall—I'll get her up.

_Phineas Flynn and Irving Grindbore like this._

**Candace Flynn** did _not_ like it—**FERB FLETCHER** I AM GOING TO GET YOU FOR PUTTING A TICKING ALARM CLOCK NEAR MY EAR AND FLEEING WHEN IT WENT OFF. YOU ARE SO BUSTED. MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Candace had run eleven laps around the house trying to catch him, but he was so _wile-y_. She panted and checked for news on the post while catching her breath.

_Irving Grindbore and Wendy 'I'm Going To Beat Candace Flynn In Getting That Mr. Slushy Dawg Job' Li like this._

_Of course_ they did.

* * *

Childish pranks set aside, the car packed, carpooling done, and on the highway, **Baljeet Tjinder** posted—This is **Baljeet**, in the back of the Flynn-Fletcher vehicle. I am being sat on by **Buford**. Someone send help.

_Buford van Stomm likes this._

Candace pretended not to notice. Listening to Tiny Cowboy, she looked innocently ahead.

**Buford van Stomm** commented and she said nothing still—theirs like 35 billon persons in this car. ask them. Hahahahah!

**Baljeet Tjinder** managed to type—Unfortunately, **Phineas** and **Ferb**'s Funtastic Playlist is too loud.

Candace, eyebrows raised, took out a headphone. OH WOW—LOUD, CHILDISH, SING-ALONG ROAD-TRIP MUSIC. And her dad was singing right along with it with the kids. Cue listening to Tiny Cowboy for relief.

* * *

**Lawrence Fletcher** is at the **Go-GO! Gas-Station**.

Candace had been dazedly watching out of a window. She hadn't even noticed they'd stopped. So _this _alerted her.

After a few minutes, Linda said, "Hmm, _where_ is your father?"

Lawrence had been in the GO-GO! Gas-Station for a longer time than necessary to pay for their bill, since before Candace had noticed that they were even _at _the Go-Go!-Station. "Here's why, Mom," Candace said, showing her mother** Lawrence Fletcher**'s—Oh, the petrol station's got WiFi! Oh goodness, how clever. I'm on Facebook. Goodness knows I need to chat on the Interwebs immediately after loading up my tank!

"Oh, Lawrence," Linda sighed, smiling.

* * *

Candace saw **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**'s Facebook status—Hey, why wasn't /I/ invited to this big group event thing? Oi, how typical, being forgotten and left out of anything fun! Oi!

_Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein likes this._

They were cruising around the parking lot for a space. Candace leaned into the next seat and said to Vanessa, "Hey, look at your dad."

Vanessa groaned when she finished reading it. "Wow, pessimistic, much, Dad? And on social media, too?"

**Aloyse Everheart Elizabeth Otto Wolfgang Hypatia Gunther Galen Gary Cooper 'Rodney' von Roddenstein** commented—Ohhh, feeling left out, **Heinz**? Her her her! XD

"Who's that?" Candace wondered.

"Pretty much Dad's arch-nemesis who Dad thinks is actually just his rival," Vanessa said casually.

**Norm Doofenshmirtz** said—Poor Dad feels left out. I will hang out with you, Dad!

"You have a brother?"

"Augh, no," Vanessa rolled her eyes, "that's Dad's weirdo robot, Norm. He just says he's my brother. He's got issues."

"Technical issues?"

"Dad issues," Vanessa said seriously.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** responded to Norm with—Shut up, **Rodney**. You too, **Norm**. I'm going to hang out all day with my best friend, **Perry the Platypus**!

"Perry?" Candace said, confused, just as Vanessa sighed and said, "Let me jump on my Facebook."

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** indeed got on her Facebook—Oh my gosh, Dad, /chill/.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** didn't give up easily—Easy for you to say. You were invited!

"He's like this _all_ the time," was said to Candace, and then **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** said this to her Dad—Yeah, I was invited by my friends, because I actually /HAVE/ friends, Dad!

_Ferb Fletcher likes this._

"WOW, Ferb," Candace laughed. Vanessa smirked.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** wasn't so amused—Hey, that punk kid likes that comment! I don't like this, **Vanessa**, I don't like this at all!

"ALL the time?" Candace asked sympathetically.

"All the time." **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s next answer was short and dismissive—Whatever.

_Ferb Fletcher likes this._

Both girls laughed wholeheartedly at that and then **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**'s—!

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

Vanessa kept laughing while Candace sobered. "PERRY?"

* * *

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** posted a new picture.

It was a pic of the Flynn-Fletcher siblings, Vanessa, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, and Monty in a big selfie at the ticket booth, waiting for the others to all show up.

It was a good photo.

* * *

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz:**

[picture]

Caption - me and **Ferb**, the bestest of the bestest.

_Phineas Flynn, Candace Flynn-Fletcher, Jeremy Johnson, Irving Grindbore, and 18 others like this._

"AWWWWWW," Candace said. She stood outside the changing rooms in one of the locker buildings. And she was also shipping her brother and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz, of all people.

"Wait, where's Irving?" Linda wondered aloud to the big group.

Vanessa and Ferb looked up from Vanessa's cellphone and all looked frantically. These two particularly looked flummoxed and ashamed for having been busy taking selfies while Irving was lost.

And **Irving Grindbore** revealed himself quickly through a seen Facebook comment on Vanessa's picture—THIS RESTAURANT'S WIFI CAN'T KEEP UP WITH MY FINGERS I WANT TO SAY SO MUCH YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTEEEEEE!

It didn't take long for all to find the restaurant and breathe a collective sigh of relief.

* * *

At lunch,** Baljeet Tjinder** relayed news about their arrival at his table—Let it be known that **Buford** threw up on the boat over to the island that Swim-X is located on! Oh dear!

Which was a bad idea, Candace thought.

**Buford van Stomm**, despite sitting down next to Baljeet, had to gruffly type out—ur gonna wish u didnt say that nerd

**Baljeet Tjinder** gulped nervously, looking at Buford looking at his cellphone, but then decided to say, at his own risk—Probably yes, but it is /such/ a victory!

* * *

**Jeremy Johnson** posted this that made Candace smile and lean against his shoulder—Waiting for people to come back from the restrooms, so **Coltrane**, **Candace**, **Jenny**, and **Stacy** and I all somehow managed to squeeze into a photo machine.

**Suzy Johnson**, who wasn't there, wanted immediate deets—Where are the adorable pictures of my **Jeremy**?!

"Better send it to her," Candace said, in a not very kind or patient voice.

**Jeremy Johnson** did—Calm down, sweetie. Here, **Suzy**!

[picture]

"Was that 'sweetie' for her or me?" Candace said, amused.

"You, but she'll think it's for hers," Jeremy said, making Candace smirk.

_Phineas Flynn, Tiana Webber, Winifred Fletcher, and 15 others like this comment._

**Reply:**

**Candace Flynn** typed out, as Jeremy read over her shoulder—Oh, I look /really/ crazy-eyed.

**Jeremy Johnson** chuckled and typed back—No you don't, **Candace**.

_Tiana Webber and Linda Flynn-Fletcher like this._

**Suzy Johnson** typed out—Yes you do, **Candace**!

"Wait, what?" Candace said.

"Wowwww, Suzy! She usually isn't like that," Jeremy said. And **Jeremy Johnson** was on Facebook to say—**Suzy**!

And even his mom, **Hawkeye Johnson**, joined in the public reprimand—**Suzy**!

To which **Suzy Johnson** replied—Bubbles! :)

"'Course she did," Candace said, rolling her eyes, making Jeremy laugh.

* * *

"Vanessa, is your dad okay?" Candace wondered.

Vanessa looked up from smothering sun lotion all over herself (she burned so easily) and read **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**'s—I'm hanging out with** Perry the** **Platypus**; we went and got ice cream, and saw a movie, threw nuts at squirrels in the park, and prank-called **Francis Monogram**. HA! WE'RE HAVING FUN!

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

"Oh my gosh, Dad," Vanessa groaned.

"Wait, there's a new comment," Candace said, and they both leaned in to read **Francis Monogram**'s comment—Agent P, you're not allowed to consort with your arch-nemesis like this!

"Is that Monty's dad?" Candace asked.

Vanessa sighed and dumbly nodded, covering her face.

And **Carl Karl** said—YOU were the one who prank-called us, Agent P?!

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

"Who's Carl Karl? And WAIT—PERRY THE PLATYPUS? _OUR_ PERRY?!" Candace _freaked out_.

And** Heinz Doofenshmirtz** was all like—It TOTALLY was! HA!

_"Dad,"_ Vanessa groaned, while Candace, confused, freaked.

* * *

Later, while they were eating a snack at a poolside table, **Baljeet Tjinder** added another status update to his day's quota—Let it be known that **Buford van Stomm** screams like a little girl on water roller coasters!

The entire table giggled, and **Buford van Stomm** set the record straight—on social media—did not!

To which **Ferb Fletcher** added more to **Baljeet**'s truth—He was also the one extremely frightened of the water slide.

**Phineas Flynn** supplied still more—Did **Buford** also have to be rescued from three feet of water by the lifeguard?

And** Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** jumped in the action—And cry like a little girl when he got separated from our group for five minutes!

Even** Irving Grindbore**, to Candace's surprise—I happen to recall that he enjoyed the kiddie pool and the old people raft ride immensely.

_Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher, and Baljeet Tjinder like this._

**Buford van Stomm** threatened online—ok u nerds r going downnnnnn—and verbally. "You nerds are going down!" Buford got up and chased Baljeet; but that ended quickly. The lifeguard told them not to run near the water.

* * *

**Jenny Brown**'s post could be read exactly in her voice—The unctuous rays of the glowing sun feel positive and vibrant.

**Candace Flynn**, looking at her cellphone by the lockers near the restrooms, typed—**Jenny**, you got /TOO/ much sun.

Candace looked up to see Jenny's smiling, expectant, yet unexpected face: "AHHH! Jenny!" Candace said.

"Say that to my face, Candace," Jenny said sweetly.

"Um, I totally don't know what you're talking about," Candace fibbed.

"What you just commented on my post. On Facebook." Still in that sweet voice. "Say. It. To. My. Face."

Needless to **say,** Candace apologized and deleted her comment.

* * *

At the end of the day, while Lawrence and Linda were finishing loading up the car's trunk,** Phineas Flynn** posted—Packed up and ready to go home from Swim-X Waterpark. Wow, my feet look like raisins!

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro and 4 others like this._

**Candace Flynn** groaned in real life and said online—It's past ten at night and we've got /HOURS/ in the car; can we not talk about raisins?

**Ferb Fletcher** agreed with her over the clammer of everyone going over their favorite ride—I second our dear sister.

_Phineas Flynn likes this._

* * *

Candace discovered a mortifying thing upon opening her duffel bag at past midnight. She fumed around her room. Then **Candace Flynn** took the Internet—Nothing like coming home and finding a bottle of suntan lotion exploded in your duffel bag, ALL OVER YOURSELF. *throws spotlight on **Ferb*** SUSPECTO NUMERO UNO, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. MOMMMMMM.

_Phineas Flynn, Jeremy Johnson, and 25 others like this._

Candace stalked out and while waiting in line for the bathroom after Phineas, gave the evil eye to her other brother across the hall.

She emerged from the bathroom with clean teeth to see **Ferb Fletcher**'s comment of—I'm innocent until proven guilty, **Candace**, and unless you can prove me guilty, I'm leaving your interrogation room.

Which was the Internet. Which was Ferb-talk for 'Don't drag this into Facebook and make a big deal out of it. M'kay?'

**Candace Flynn** decided she'd catch his attention with—BUT-BUT-BUT MOOMMMMMMMMMM **Linda Flynn Fletcher**

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** proved herself ever the mom with—Go to bed, **Candace**.

**Blonde-Haired Beckham Fletcher** (_WHY IS HE STILL UP?_ Candace privately thought)—i take it everyone had a good day, aye, mate?

And** Phineas Flynn** couldn't help but want to join in—You could definitely say that, **Beckham**!

_Blonde-Haired Beckham Fletcher likes this._

"Of course he did," Candace said. She sounded extremely exhausted, and done.

* * *

At past one in the morning,** Irving Grindbore** was frantic—I CAN'T UPLOAD ALL MY COOL PICS FROM MY BEST DAY EVER AT SWIM-X WATERPARK WITH **PHINEAS** AND **FERB** AND **CANDACE **AND **ISABELLA** AND **BUFORD** AND **BALJEET **AND THE COOLEST GANG OF PEOPLE BECAUSE MY CAMERA GOT WET AND MY FILES ARE CORRUPTED. UGHHHHHHH :X

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** was sympathetic—I'm so sorry hear that, **Irving**!

**Phineas Flynn** offered condolences—It's okay, man. We have tons of other pictures we'll post.

**Irving Grindbore** was calming down—Good, that's good. It means I can probably come down from my panic attack now.

**Albert Grindbore** voiced Candace's tired thoughts (every time this convo got a comment there was a PING! from her phone to keep her up)—Good grief, go to BED, **Irving**.

* * *

Now it was past three when **Heinz Doofenshmirtz** posted on **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz**'s wall—**Perry the Platypus** and I had the best day together, just for an FYI.

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz** seemed to have cheered up from her earlier moody moments with her dad—LOL, sure, Dad. /Good night./

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** was happy about this—:D

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

And apparently, so was Perry.

And in the end, when Candace read this little convo the next morning, it made her smile. Family was still family, no matter how annoying they were, right?

She went to apologize to Ferb.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	7. HashtagBandsRoyale

**_Soli Deo gloria_**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb.**

* * *

Linda Flynn-Fletcher wasn't expecting such an exciting announcement on a late summer day in August. She hadn't expected to see that **Phineas Flynn **posted on **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s wall: MOM! Great news! You'll never guess who's coming to Danville!

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher **typed from her keyboard in her office—Um . . . the President?

Her stepson, **Ferb Fletcher**, was far more informative**—**No, somehow bigger than that.

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher **replied with—Hmmmm . . . I'm not sure.

Her youngest son,** Phineas Flynn**, was a terrible teaser—I'm going to tell Dad while you think of what it is, Mom!

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** laughed out loud**—**Oh, **Phineas**! XD

**Lawrence Fletcher**, her lovely husband, wasn't helping—Oh, darling, the boys've told me. It's quite killer, simply spiffing.

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher **sighed. "Now I'm getting impatient," she muttered to herself. —Well, what is it?

**Phineas Flynn** replied with—**Ferb**ster and I've been holding back **Candace **for as long as we can: **Candace**?

**Candace Flynn **let loose**—**LIKE ALL THE BANDS WE LIKE ARE COMING TO DANVILLE RIGHT ON MY BIRTHDAY LIKE OH MY GOSH AND WE ALL HAVE TO GO AND CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY AND **PHINEAS**'S BIRTHDAY AND MY BIRTHDAY and wow that's a lot of us born in the summer and WE HAVE TO GO.

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher **privately wondered "Are they all gathered in one of the bedrooms upstairs or something?" as she asked on Facebook—Who's in it?

Her kids were only too quick and informative when they could spill the beans:

**Candace Flynn: **THE BETTYS

**Phineas Flynn: **2 Guyz N the Parque!

**Candace Flynn: **TINY COWBOY

**Lawrence Fletcher: **And LOVE HANDEL

WAIT—LOVE HANDEL!? (She privately smirked and sighed reminiscently—Lindana was obviously not on the list. BUT THE REST OF THE SELECTION—)—

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** couldn't type fast enough for excitement**—**OKAY I'M SOLD.

_Ferb Fletcher, Candace Flynn, Phineas Flynn-Fletcher, and Lawrence Fletcher like this._

Linda stood up and ran upstairs to cheer in real life with her family.

* * *

Meanwhile, online **Irving Grindbore **tried recruiting people—I'm starting a petition to get **Phineas** and the **Ferb**-tones on the roster for the 'Bands Royale' event. LMS and like my fan-run page for **Phineas** and the **Ferb**-tones!

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **was on his case with the truth within a minute of his posting this—Um, **Phineas** and the **Ferb**-tones had only a one-hit wonder. We're not getting back together.

And **Albert Grindbore **wasn't helping**—**Oh my gosh you're running a Facebook fan-page. Excuse me while I deny any relation to you EVER.

_Buford van Stomm likes this._

**Irving** **Grindbore**, thwarted—:P

In result, _nobody_ liked his status.

* * *

Later, while waiting for dinner to cook, Linda saw a distress signal from her friend **Hawkeye Johnson: **Does ANYONE know where to buy Bands Royale tickets?!

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher **quickly offered her help—I'll PM you the details, **Hawkeye**.

_Hawkeye Johnson and Jeremy Johnson like this._

Dinner burned, but she finished sending her message.

* * *

In unrelated-to-Bands-Royale news, **Buford van Stomm **has reached _Level 73_ of _Farmville_!

To which **Baljeet Tjinder **offered his sincerest**—**I now know what you do when we aren't spending every minute together.

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro likes this._

**Buford van Stomm **ignored this, and demanded things instead—sht up and send me a sliver cow

* * *

**Suzy Johnson** _likes _Bubbles, The Color Pink, _and _Heavy Metal.

**Jeremy Johnson **voiced his brotherly concern**—**Um, **Suzy**?

_Candace Flynn likes this._

**Suzy Johnson **quickly dispelled any rumors or concerns with a reassuring—BUBBLES!

* * *

Linda was on the verge of PMing her sister for deets about her coming down the next day when she saw that **Tiana Webber **posted—Heading down to my sis's with my hubby. We're gonna have a three-joint birthday celebration and going to the best concert ever!

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Clyde Flynn, Candace Flynn, Vivian Garcia-Shapiro, and 24 others like this._

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher **could only say**—**The kids and I are sooooo excited to see you!

And Tiana's niece, **Candace Flynn**, provided a preview about that week's upcoming events**—**Ready to camp outside a radio station where there are reserved tickets? First 100 in line get front row, and we can win backstage passes with #BandsRoyale comments, and pre-ordering merch and don't forget maybe getting autographs guaranteed by calling in as 246th caller!

**Tiana Webber**'s response?**— **. . . what?

_Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher like this._

* * *

"What's your WiFi password, Linda?" Bob wanted to know.

"Lovehandel, all lower-case," Linda informed him, as she helped Tiana move their suitcases out of the foyer and into the living room.

"Thanks, Linda. You're the best SiL ever!" **Bob Webber**'s next words appeared on social media**—**It is SOOO great to be at the Flynn-Fletchers for the week! It is OKAY!

_Phineas Flynn, Tiana Webber, Ferb Fletcher, and 6 others like this._

**Phineas Flynn **said online from his bedroom before he came running down the stairs—We're going to have so much fun, Uncle **Bob**!

* * *

**Isabelle** **Garcia-Shapiro** posted on **46321 Danville Fireside Troops**' page: Are you ready to get your Super-Cool Ticket-Buying Patches, girls?

_Gretchen Roberts, Ginger Hirano, Adyson Sweetwater, Holly Turner, and 2 others like this._

**Gretchen Roberts **was the first to sound off—Aye-aye, Chief!

* * *

It was late night when **Candace Flynn** let the Interwebs know where she was**—**Am currently in line for #BandsRoyale tickets at the WJOP station! Don't feel like tagging all the Fireside Girls that are here with us—with **Linda Flynn-Fletcher **and **Tiana Webber**.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **wasn't about to let this go—We're Fireside /SISTERS/, **Candace**!

Neither was** Katie Miller—**You should've tagged us, **Candace**!

Or** Milly Jones—**Yeah!

Or** Gretchen Roberts: **Indeed!

**Candace Flynn**'s tank of amusement ran low**—**Oh no I didn't tag all the five-years-olds on Facebook. What on Earth have I done. XP

* * *

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz **posted on **Perry the Platypus**'s wall: **PERRY THE PLATYPUS **STOP SENDING ME CANDYCRUSH REQUESTS RIGHT NOW.

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

**Perry the Platypus **probably actually did**—**lol

In his office,** Francis Monogram **became aware of this and let his disapproval be shown on the Internet—I strongly discourage this kind of behavior during and outside work-hours!

To which the evil scientist **Heinz Doofenshmirtz **said**—**LOL

* * *

**Phineas Flynn **is listening to 'You Snuck Your Way Right Into My Heart' on **#BandsRoyale Radio**.

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher and Lawrence Fletcher like this._

* * *

It was only a matter of days until the concert. **Jenny Brown **knew with a wish and some time, good things would happen**—**It's 11:11: I wish that all the people waiting for #BandsRoyale tickets could get them.

_Django Brown, Stacy Hirano, and 4 others like this._

Her brother,** Django Brown**, was amazed**—Jenny**, I think that's the most normal thing you've ever posted.

Which** Jenny Brown** ruined with**—**And I hope that all the little bunnies traipsing about in the twilight may not be eaten by thieving owls and foxes.

And** Django Brown—**. . . and the other shoe drops.

* * *

**Ferb Fletcher**, a couple of hours later, let the world know why he was up at an absurd 2:14 in the morning—I've been awakened past midnight to much screaming and rejoicing in our foyer. The lucky ladies of our household have procured #BandsRoyale tickets.

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Vivian-Garcia-Shapiro, Tiana Webber, and 18 others like this._

**Candace Flynn**'s tone was _far_ more awake**—**WE EARNED THESE. (More in a post later.) Besides, there are /much/ worse things to wake up to.

_Phineas Flynn and Isabella Garcia-Shapiro like this._

* * *

**Stacy Hirano **_likes the page _Movie Quotes.

_Candace Flynn likes this._

Of course she did.

* * *

**Candace Flynn**'s promised post made an appearance—SO this post might be full of typos cuz i'm writing this on my phone. Last night was COLD for some reason (but it's summer?!) and lots of the girls were cutting in line and I was SUPER WORRIED that there weren't gonna be enough tickets, but Mom and Aunt **Tiana** kept it cool and we went in and bought the tickets like they were listed for and bought posters and i cried and freaked out and it wasn't even band night yet. BUT WE EARNED THESE TICKETS. :3

_Stacy Hirano, Tiana Webber, and 23 others like this._

Linda read it over her daughter's shoulder and smiled. She rubbed Candace's shoulder as she yawned, and let her fall asleep at breakfast.

* * *

**Vanessa Doofenshmirtz **posted on **Ferb Fletcher**'s wall: Hey, man, thanks for getting me those Battle Royale tickets.

_Ferb Fletcher likes this._

Linda read this over his shoulder as she helped him clean up his room. "Aww, that's so sweet, Ferb. She's a nice girl," she said.

**Ferb Fletcher **hid his blush, nodded to his mum, and said on Facebook—It was no trouble; the pleasure is all mine.

_Vanessa Doofenshmirtz likes this._

* * *

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz **posted on **Monty Monogram**'s wall: YOU. STOP SENDING ME CANDYCRUSH REQUESTS.

**Francis Monogram **was sick and tired of all this—Eh tu, son?! Before you know it, the next perpetrator will be **Carl**!

_Carl Karl, Perry the Platypus, and Monty Monogram like this._

* * *

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **posted on **46321 Danville Fireside Troops**'s wall: We did it! I'm so proud of all my lovely Fireside Girls! YOU'RE AMAZING! - Chief

_Ginger Hirano, Gretchen Roberts, and Candace Flynn like this._

**Candace Flynn **was surprised—Wow, and I didn't even do anything. . .

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro **was firm, adamant, and accurate**—**YET, **Candace**. That's the key word here. YET.

* * *

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** has reached _Level 23_ on **CandyCrush**!

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

Linda sighed. Charlene's ex had no life.

Some guy,** Francis Monogram**, sarcastically received this news**—**Oh my goodness this is the most exciting news in the entire world. Let us clap for him.

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz**'s sarcasm game was strong as well, though**—**Your unwavering support is so appreciated, /**FRANCIS**/. Isn't that a girl's name?

The aforementioned** Carl Karl **proved informative**—**Yes, it is. It was the start of all his father issues.

Andddddd **Francis Monogram** wasn't amused**—CARL**! I need to see you in my office, to discuss the idea of NOT posting about other people's personal lives on Facebook.

Linda shook her head; that sounded worrisome. Oh, why did people post some much personal stuff on the Internet?

* * *

Past midnight on Candace's birthday, Linda checked Facebook before going to bed. (It was so late, and she'd have to get up early to make the cakes for the Flynn tri-jointed birthday party. Sighhhhh. . .) She saw that **Ferb Fletcher **posted on **Candace Flynn**'s wall: I'm the first, a moment past midnight, to wish you a happy, happy birthday, and many happy returns. *sets For He's a Jolly Good Fellow on the record*

_Candace Flynn likes this._

**Candace Flynn **felt the sentiment and the Britishness—**Ferb**, that might've been the most British thing you've ever said. Ever. But thanks. :D

Linda smiled, pleased. Aww.

_Ferb Fletcher and Linda Flynn-Fletcher likes this._

* * *

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher **posted a new picture before the noon party: Captioned—Starting off the day of the #BandsRoyale concert with a birthday pancake breakfast for us three summer babies! **Linda Flynn-Fletcher** **Phineas Flynn Candace Flynn Ferb Fletcher Lawrence Fletcher Tiana Webber Bob Webber**

_Vivian Garcia-Shapiro and 63 others like this._

**Vivian Garcia-Shapiro**'s sentiment was heartfelt—and partially Spanish**—Linda**, you're blessed with such a familia buena!

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher likes this._

**Irving Grindbore**'s compliment was strongly felt**—**OH YOU GUYS ALL LOOK SO FABULOUS.

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro and 5 others like this._

* * *

Later that day, an attention-seeking **Heinz Doofenshmirtz** let the world know—**Perry the Platypus **is such a great guy to play CandyCrush with!

For which** Francis Monogram** wasn't in the mood for—The time for words is over. Now is the time for action.

**Carl Karl** was concerned— . . . sir?

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

* * *

**Betty Jo Flynn **shared **Linda Flynn-Fletcher**'s photo— with this comment—Happy birthday to my lovely daughter **Linda**, my enthusiastic granddaughter **Candace**, and inventive grandson **Phineas**! They're all having a collective birthday for their summer birthdays.

_Candace Flynn and 7 others like this._

**Ferb Fletcher** took a second to depart from the party to comment—That moment when the only word that can fully describe **Candace **properly is 'enthusiastic'.

_Buford van Stomm and 3 others like this._

**Candace Flynn **sighed— . . . ugh I can't think of a clever comeback. :P

* * *

The boys had spent most of the party educating **Baljeet Tjinder** about music, so he could say**—**I have listened to every single album released by the entire line-up for #BattlesRoyale, memorized all the lyrics, and am currently reading up on all the bands' bios. I am so ready and totally prepared for this concert!

_Phineas Flynn and 6 others like this._

**Buford van Stomm** scoffed**—**thats so stupd why u do that

The party continued. During the downtime between the games and cake,** Baljeet Tjinder** brought on a Smart Alec comeback**—**A better question presents itself: did you learn /anything/ in English class?

_Ferb Fletcher and Isabella Garcia-Shapiro likes this._

**Buford van** **Stomm**'s grammar rivaled his spelling as being the worst of the two—u no i dont pay ateiton in clas

**Baljeet Tjinder **apologized, right before cake**—**Oh, right, what a stupid question to ask.

* * *

**Ginger Hirano **posted a picture.

_Isabella Garcia Shapiro, Gretchen Roberts, and 4 others likes this._

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** commented Someone's earned their Personally-Made-and-Creatively-Inspired-and-Thoughtful-Concert-Poster-Patch!

* * *

**Candace Flynn **is at **Danville Arena**.

_Phineas Flynn, Jeremy Johnson, and 17 others like this._

Hours passed for the Flynn-Fletcher-Friends party. But thankfully soon, as **Stacy** **Hirano **put it—WE'RE MOVING OUT!

**Candace** **Flynn**, once she'd walked into the line _inside_ the stadium, panicked a little—ONLY 5 AND 1/4 HOURS LEFT UNTIL IT STARTS. AHHHH.

* * *

Most of the people in Danville attended that concert; one of the exceptions was a complaining **Heinz Doofenshmirtz**—Well, so WHATTT?! if I couldn't get tickets in time? I DON'T EVEN LIKE TINY COWBOY. And I can live without Love Handel. WHATEVER. COMPLETTTELY OVERRATED. #BandsRoyale-ySUCK! :P lol

During a pre-show commercial-viewing, **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz **saw this and got worried**—**. . . Dad?

**Norm Doofenshmirtz**, after hugging his Doof**—**There, there, Dad; I did not manage to procure coveted concert tickets either. But do not worry! We can spend the entire evening together, having some father-son bonding time!

Which **Heinz Doofenshmirtz **refused**—**Don't be offended but I'd rather jump off a cliff. OH OH OH, on a bungee cord. Sorry. Kid's show.

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

* * *

**Candace Flynn **posted a photo. —I MANAGED TO GET ME, STACY, AND TINY COWBOY ALL IN ONE PICTURE. #SCREAMING

_Jeremy Johnson and 17 others like this._

* * *

The nostalgia blast and concert high were too strong to be ignored. **Linda Flynn-Fletcher** posted song lyrics like a teenage girl would—at two in the morning**—**I should've known/From how I felt/When we were together/And even more when we were apart/You tiptoed in/And got under my skin/You snuck your way right into my heart. If I knew how to make a heart on Facebook, I would. It was such a blast from the past. :)

_Vivian Garcia-Shapiro and 15 others like this._

**Vivian** **Garcia-Shapiro** was up too, having gone to the concert and fangirled with her bestie—Glad you got home safe, **Linda**! I'll PM you tomorrow!

**Lawrence** **Fletcher** also saw this, and smiled—Good, good memories, darling.

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher likes this._

* * *

The next morning (it was past five, so maybe she hadn't gone to bed at all), **Vanessa Doofenshmirtz **posted on **Ferb Fletcher**'_s _wall_: _It was really cool of you to get me those tickets, **Ferb**. I liked seeing you at the concert last night.

Of course such a sweet message had to be marred by the comments of **Johnny Black—**Had fun hanging out with your boyfriend, huh, **Vanessa**?

**Monty** **Monogram**'s comeback won the Internet, though—Yes, yes she did.

_Vanessa Doofenshmirtz likes this._

**Ferb Fletcher**'s heartbreak was masked with characteristic good humour—Well, I believe someone has stolen a certain rift on **Phineas**'s line.

_Monty Monogram and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz like this._

Of course they did.

* * *

In other news, **Heinz Doofenshmirtz** informed all his Facebook friends with news**—**I built an inator to create artificial rain to ruin the worst concert ever, but it was foiled by **Perry the Platypus**. Then we got pizza and played games and watched bad TV all evening.

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

**Norm Doofenshmirtz **got at their shared computer to say**—**I could not eat the pizza, but the games were so much fun, Dad!

When **Heinz Doofenshmirtz** went on the Internet to search for live performance videos from the concert, he saw this—Oh my gosh, get it through your thick robotic steel-plated head, **Norm**. I. AM. NOT. YOUR. FATHER.

This continued further into the morning with **Norm Doofenshmirtz**'s**—**Nice Star Wars reference, Dad!

**Heinz** **Doofenshmirtz **ended it before lunch—WHATEVER.

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

**Francis** **Monogram **saw this—*face-desk*

* * *

After gushing about the concert with his friends in his room, **Phineas Flynn **posted this—Thanks everyone for the happy birthday posts on my wall! Love you guys!

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, Baljeet Tjinder, Tiana Webber, and 6 others like this._

**Gretchen Roberts**' amusement was evident—Of course **Isabella **'likes' this.

_Ginger Hirano, Adyson Sweetwater, and 3 others like this._

Linda called the kids down for lunch, and **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** paused a moment on the stairs to type—Thanks, guys. . .

**Phineas** **Flynn**, sitting next to her at the kitchen table, commented—?

* * *

**Candace** **Flynn** followed his example—Thanks for all the happy birthday posts! I'm 19 now. 0.O AND I WENT TO THE BEST CONCERT EVER. MY MOST FAVORITE BIRTHDAY EVER. :D

_Stacy Hirano, Jeremy Johnson, and 19 others like this._

**Stacy** **Hirano**'s characteristic movie quote made its appearance—BEST. DAY. EVER.

**Ferb** **Fletcher** made Candace's day and her eyes go wide—It beat out my and **Phineas**'s Mount Rushmore carving of you? I'm deeply hurt, sister of mine.

**Candace** **Flynn** alerted the media—HE ADMITS TO IT, MOM.

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** shook her head, said "Oh, Candace," and smiled at her desk—SMH. Oh, **Candace**. :)

* * *

**Thanks for reading! (Review?)**


	8. End of Summer

_**Soli Deo gloria**_

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Phineas and Ferb. Or Facebook.**

**PSA: Last chapter, folks. :)**

* * *

The panic was initiated by one **Buford van Stomm**—schol starts in 1 wek. send helppppp

**Baljeet Tjinder**, who'd just spent the afternoon geeking out at the local office supply store over new school supplies, wasn't in the mood to sympathize—School /IS/ your help, **Buford**.

_Irving Grindbore and 4 others like this._

**Buford van Stomm** showed off his point—your asking 4 it, baljet

* * *

Someone (**Phineas Flynn**) had a more optimistic POV about their last few remaining days of freedom—School starts in a week, and we still have so much to do this summer! **Ferb**, to the backyard!

To which **Ferb Fletcher** was already privy to—Already there, bro.

**Baljeet Tjinder** wanted in on this—Is this an Avengers Assemble thing?

**Phineas Flynn**'s response?—YEP!

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** was ready—I'll be right there, **Phineas**!

**Gretchen Roberts**, however, butted in, to add some clarification—And **Ferb**.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** frowned at her phone—?

**Gretchen Roberts** hinted not-so-subtly—**Phineas** ANDDDDD **Ferb**. Right, **Isabella**? :D

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** _got it_—XP Yes.

_Gretchen Roberts, Adyson Sweetwater, Holly Turner, and 2 others like this._

**Phineas Flynn** didn't—?!

* * *

**Candace Flynn** sat in the drive-thru line at a coffee shop and typed fiercely—OF COURSE THE BOYS ARE DOING SOMETHING TERRIBLY BUSTABLE IN THE BACKYARD and I'm in my car on my way to work. Like a responsible adult.

_Jeremy Johnson, Coltrane Laker, and 4 others like this._

**Stacy Hirano** quoted—I don't like it.

**Candace Flynn** scolded—You're quoting MOVIES, not TV SHOWS, Stacy.

And **Candace Flynn** added—Wow I can't believe you've kept up this streak all summer.

_Stacy Hirano likes this._

* * *

A day or two later, **Ferb Fletcher** observed—One finds that this summer is going faster than any other summer beforehand. I recall one summer a couple of years back when it lasted for far more than one-hundred-and-four-days, I swear.

_Candace Flynn, Phineas Flynn, and 8 others like this._

**Phineas Flynn** joined in that with reminiscing—That was like our best summer ever! We got so much done that summer: built a roller coaster, went around the world in one day, had a backyard beach, treehouse robots, etc. It was so great!

**Candace Flynn** saw this and MOM-ALERT—MOM!

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** didn't (reasonably) want to get into this summer—again—Give it a rest, **Candace**.

* * *

**Perry the Platypus** proved to the Internet he was still alive—Krtttttttttttttttttttttttttkrttttttttttttttttkrtttttttttttttttttt.

_Phineas Flynn, Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and 5 others like this._

* * *

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** _likes the pages_ Inators, Peanut Brittle, _and_ Villain Songs.

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

**Francis Monogram** was just about 99% done—I'm guessing that asking you two to keep a strictly professional relationship and not a best friend one is going in one ear and out the other, huh?

_Perry the Platypus and Heinz Doofenshmirtz like this._

**Francis Monogram** could only—-sigh-

**Phineas Flynn** was the most uninformed guy in Danville—?!

_Ferb Fletcher likes this._

* * *

**Carl Karl** burst with good news—I'm finally going to college this fall! My days as an O.W.C.A. intern are over! I'm on college campus! But I'll sure miss all you agent guys, and you too, **Major Monogram**, sir! —feeling excited.

_Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher, Monty Monogram, and Francis Monogram like this._

**Francis Monogram** wished his intern didn't make friends with these kids—Ix-nay on the O.W.C.A.-ay.

**Carl Karl** realized and was apologetic—Oops! Sorry, sir!

**Phineas Flynn** was all like—?!

* * *

The days counted down:** Gretchen Roberts** announced—All of the girls in Fireside Troop 46231 have earned their End-Of-Summer-Salute badge! — with **Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**, **Ginger Hirano**, and 4 others.

_Candace Flynn and Katie Miller like this._

**Milly Jones** voiced her happiness—So proud of everyone! Great job!

**Adyson Sweetwater**, in turn, bragged—We did MAJORLY AWESOME!

_Holly Turner likes this._

* * *

**Lawrence Fletcher**, meanwhile, that evening—Just got off a nice chat with my brother Angus. He and the boys and Maura and Eliza are doing fabulously. He should get on Facebook, though, so we can chat more, and brag properly by posting funny witty posts and poking each other!

_Linda Flynn-Fletcher, Tiana Webber, and 4 others like this._

**Brown-Haired Beckham Fletcher** acted as proxy and voicepiece for his father—Dad says 'Fat chance', Uncle **Lawrence**!

**Lawrence Fletcher** chuckled to himself in real life and agreed—LOL of course he does.

* * *

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** sighed and told all what was gonna go down the next day (Friday)—is making the transition from sending **Candace** to high school to college! We're taking her tomorrow! :( —feeling sad.

_Phineas Flynn, Vivian Garcia-Shapiro and 7 others like this._

**Vivian Garcia-Shapiro** felt her feelings, mom-to-mom—Oh poor **Linda**! I shall bring you a plate of churros and Mexican hot chocolate to cheer you up! I cannot imagine how hard it is! I cannot bear the thought of sending my baby Isa away! :(

**Candace Flynn** added some much-needed context to the situation—. . . Mom, it's community college. Freshmen just have to be there for a tour tomorrow.

_Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher like this._

**Linda Flynn-Fletcher** defended herself—Packing up your knapsack is hard, though. :(

**Stacy Hirano** defused with some much needed sentimental humor—**Candace**'s going to college; can you believe it? :(

**Candace Flynn** could only sigh—You are too, **Stacy**. Andddd that emoticon is being WAYYYY overused in this post.

* * *

While toweling off outside her pool,** Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** wrote—This end-of-summer pool party is going so great and so sad at the same time; it's so great seeing everyone here! We had the best of times this summer, and I wouldn't trade away a second of it!

_Gretchen Roberts, Baljeet Tjinder, Buford van Stomm, Ferb Fletcher, Phineas Flynn, and 8 others like this._

**Ginger Hirano** said from across the pool—**Isabella**, you should totally make this summer the best ever and tell a certain someone a certain few words about a certain few feelings!

_Adyson Sweetwater, Baljeet Tjinder, Irving Grindbore, Holly Turner, and 2 others like this._

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** was so not ready for this—:P

As usual: **Phineas Flynn**—?!

_Candace Flynn, Holly Turner, Ferb Fletcher, and 5 others like this._

Later, Phineas asked Isabella, "What's with everyone this week?"

She stopped focusing on his pool-wet hair and clearing her throat, looked at the tiki torches around her pool and shrugged. "I don't know."

* * *

**Stacy Hirano**, that evening, broke a long, long streak—Well, summer's almost over (it'll be over in about seventy hours). I wish I had done more.

_Jeremy Johnson, Coltrane Black, and two others like this._

It was something to behold.

**Candace Flynn** noticed it, just a bit—**Stacy**, YOUR MOVIE QUOTING. WHERE DID IT GO?

To which **Stacy Hirano** answered with—I um finished?

**Phineas Flynn** was way more cheerful about it—Congratulations for doing it for so long, **Stacy**!

So was** Ferb Fletcher**, in his own weird way—Keeping up the constancy and habit like that for so long should be commended.

**Candace Flynn** added another comment—It's a stupid thing to be proud of . . . BUT I'M PROUD OF YOU, **STACY**.

**Stacy Hirano** took this in stride—and threw in another quote—Well I'm certainly proud of you. . . you blockheads!

_Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher, and Candace Flynn like this._

And they weren't insulted at all.

* * *

**Jeremy Johnson** informed the world that Saturday what he was doing —Packing for college is harder than I thought. Wow.

_Hawkeye Johnson, Suzy Johnson, and 5 others like this._

His girlfriend, **Candace Flynn**'s, face?—:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

**Ferb Fletcher**'s humor wasn't helping—**Candace**, why the long face?

**Candace Flynn** replied—BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND IS GOING TO GO LIVE A MILLION MILES AWAY AT HIS COLLEGE FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND MONTHS DUH FERB.

_Jeremy Johnson likes this._

**Ferb Fletcher** added a tad more comforting tone—Um . . . don't forget that you're taking him down there, okay? You've got that, at least?

_Jeremy Johnson and Hawkeye Johnson like this._

* * *

That Saturday evening,** Francis Monogram** went off the deep end—I'm deleting my Facebook. Don't try to stop me!

_Heinz Doofenshmirtz likes this._

**Heinz Doofenshmirtz** also commented—Heyyyyy attention-seeker! Wait, does this mean **Perry the Platypus** and I can have many shenanigans with you gone?

_Perry the Platypus likes this._

_Of course_ he did.

**Francis Monogram** sighed—*facepalm*

**Phineas Flynn**'s response?!—?!

* * *

**Buford van Stomm**'s news that turned out to be the highlight of this new week (any other highlight would be middle-school related, so there wasn't much competition)?—i won farmvile!

_Baljeet Tjinder and 2 others like this._

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** was incredulously amazed—Wait, you can win Farmville?

**Phineas Flynn** was, too—Apparently!

**Baljeet Tjinder** commented—**Buford**, this means you will now have free time to be spent on doing homework and extracurricular intellectual activities!

Did poor Baljeet actually _believe_ that? Or was that subtle sarcasm?

**Buford van Stomm** didn't know which to think—lol wut nerd?

_Baljeet Tjinder likes this._

**Baljeet Tjinder** was sighing in his head—Never mind.

* * *

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** typed late that Sunday night, still sweaty and smiling—That was an AWESOME end-of-summer super-party! **Phineas** and **Ferb** sure can do great things!

_Ferb Fletcher, Phineas Flynn, and 36 others like this._

**Ferb Fletcher**, for once, tried bringing the mood _down_—Spoiler: School starts tomorrow.

**Isabella Garcia-Shapiro** found that he won, a bit—Way to bring me down from my happiness, **Ferb**. :P

**Ferb Fletcher**, however, made her stop relaxing and teasing and sit up, alert,—I'm sure you can get it back if you talk to **Phineas** about a *few* /certain things/.

_Gretchen Roberts, Ginger Hirano, and 5 others like this._

_FERB!_

**Phineas Flynn**, of course, was oblivious in not knowing what was going on (and Isabella hoped he stayed that way)—Okay, I'm seriously missing something?

He was. And no one (least of all Isabella) told him what he was missing. At least, no one told him that _summer_.

* * *

**Jenny Brown** wished her last wish of the summer—It's 11:11. I wish that everyone has a good fall.

_Candace Flynn, Stacy Hirano, and 7 others like this._

That was a good wish.

* * *

Everyone, college students and all, were prepared that bright Monday morning. **Phineas Flynn** brushed his teeth and posted—Alarm went off, it's seven in the AM, and the first day of school!

**Ferb Fletcher** was thoughtful that morning—I know it's supposed to be 104 days of summer vacation, but this summer seemed shorter than that one longgggggg summer we had a few years back.

**Phineas Flynn** smiled as he typed—Yeah, that was a GREATTTTT summer.

It was always a good summer worth remembering.

**Ferb Fletcher** joined him as they walked downstairs, and posted this comment—And school came around just to end it.

_Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, Candace Flynn, Baljeet Tjinder, and Buford van Stomm like this._

**Phineas Flynn** said this aloud to his brother before he ended their Facebook conversation with it—Yes, yes it did, **Ferb**.

* * *

**THE END! **

**I hoped y'all liked the humor and everyone here on Facebook. Can anyone guess what any of Stacy's movie quotes were? Anyways, thanks to all who read this through to the very end! (That loyalty is appreciated. :)) Review?**


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